It is
raining here, and I guess this should be the time for me to write something.
Last night, I was chatting with one of my close friends through whatsapp. I was
informed that she was having a worrisome time last week for she was trying to
get a place in a particular college. In the process of her application, she was
required to hand up some documents of her matriculation in order to get the
application approved. However, the office of matriculation had not given her
any reply for over a week time. She was seriously nervous and worried for her
parents were also giving her pressure. Anyway, she prayed harder one night and
miracle happened another morning.
She found
her application was approved the next day and the college informed her that the
submission of the documents can be done later. Later on, she received the
documents that she wanted. She refused to tell me which God she was praying.
Anyway, I would like to give thanks to the God that she prayed to, so that this
dear friend could be able to move on her life with a brand-new start. She asked
about my condition and she was great to know that I am good recently. I wish
her all the best in the rest of her life. May God bless her.
I was too
busy until I had no time to pause for a while in order to review my life.
Anyway, now I would like to spend time for reviewing my life. As usual, my life is not easy but still great
somehow. Challenges came and things happened in a way that is apparently
discouraging somehow. This became the very time where I needed more strength so
that I could persevere with the storms and rains. I wonder how long I would
need to take in order to get through all these challenges. The problems seemed
to be quite overwhelming to me, and I found myself in depression and
hopelessness for a period of time. Anyway, those challenges are not new at all;
they used to visit me from time to time throughout my life. Every time they
came, they got me into despair and sorrow. I would admit that they are very
good at dismaying me. However, they failed to stop me so far.
Bible says,
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor
12:10) Every time the waves of challenges came to me, it was really inevitable
for me to have thought of giving up halfway. I am merely a human with a
vulnerable flesh; I am not strong enough to stand with that alone. It would be
really agonizing if I would have to fight with the challenges on my own. I
guess I would give up halfway if I would have to do this alone. However, each
time they come, I would find myself really weak and finally falling into
despair helplessly. Thanks be to God. For when I am weak, then I am strong. God
raised me up every time I fell down and he lifted me higher than before. Praise
to the Lord on high. As what I
said, the situation became so challenging until I felt like giving up. I was
thinking of why give-up would be the solution that first came out in my mind
whenever I faced challenges? It doesn’t help to solve the problems, but to
escape from it. I never want to escape from that, I just want to solve the
problems because what I desire to realize is the vision in my mind. If I give
up fighting, I would never realize my dream! One funny thing I found was that I
really can’t just give up like that. Maybe the desire is too strong that I
couldn’t surrender to any challenges or problems and cease to love. What is the
purpose of living if you are not able to love? It is only in hell having no
love.
In this
tough situation, I realized that I become seriously serious. This should be the
first time that I really want something very badly. I just want to love, isn’t
it too over? With this awareness, I started to ponder how to keep on going
against the storms and rains in the future, for this time I just want to work
things out. I think I should be patient for I truly know that all these
problems require a long time to settle. The more impatient I become, the more
likely I would feel like giving up. Give-up would never be my option so I would
need to avoid myself from having that intention or feeling. Therefore, I need
to be very patient from now onward. In
order to train my patience, I have registered to a race of half Marathon (21km)
on this October. I decided to train my mental and improve my stamina, because I
want to be stronger and tougher!! Hopefully, this would help to enhance the
toughness of my determination. God bless me.
Besides
that, I would need to focus on the things that I need to do instead of the
problems. The more I focus on the problems, the more I would find them
unbeatable and overwhelming. I should have thought of how to prepare myself for
being a better man so that I am ready enough to love. I am truly aware that it
would not be easy; challenges would come from time to time surely even though
the current problems are solved. It would definitely be a life-time battle
which is much challenging and difficult as time goes by. If I am not able to
equip myself well with good weapons and armors in advance, it wouldn't be
possible for me to survive till the end. It is a long way to go, and I shouldn't be naive by thinking that the path would be all smooth after the current problems
are solved.
Well, time
goes by, I found three weapons that I need to bring them along in the battle.
They are faith, hope and love. I started to understand the importance of having
faith and the worth f being hopeful in my life. Life can be really
hopeless if you do not have faith to move on, and life can be really suffering
if you find no way to go on. Life would be meaningless if you do not love. It
is not easy to stay hopeful while you hardly find any way to go on. However,
faith becomes the powerful reason for you to move on even though you may have
no idea how it would be done. It is because you believe that somehow everything
would be alright eventually. Hope becomes the power for you to move on even
though the situation now is discouraging and dismaying. It is because you are
hopeful and anticipating the rainbow after the stormy rains. Love becomes the
purpose for you to move on, because if you don’t move on, you would never be
able to love. How can I move on strong and fearlessly without anyone of them?
