A damn long chat

My mother was a number one worry freak. She used to worry about the in-coming problems in advance. I still remember that when my brother was about to study Form six. She was so worried and searching for more information as much as possible just for my brother's better future. When my brother was being in National Service, she worried about my brother so much until she couldn't sleep well at that period. It was helpless for me to see her worrying and upset that I couldn't do anything to help her.

However, the path that I took for my studies was quite similar with my brother. When my turn to attend National Service, they brought me there once only, while I could see many families coming far away from their hometown to that isolated PLKN campsite and visit their children every weekends. I was not sad at all, but I did really miss them so much. I did wish that they could come to visit me, but it was really far lar and not worth at all to do that.  Besides that, when my turn to study Form 6, my mother was seemingly so experienced and steady to handle it until I didn't really feel about whether she concerned or not. She just left me at my relative's house the night before I went to register myself at High School BM which was an unfamiliar place to me. I couldn't believe that they were so unworried about me and let me go there to settle everything alone. They didn't go to my school until the day we got the result. It is unbelievable. 

Apart from that, my parents didn't come to UM for my registration as my accompany. My brother was assigned to deliver me to UM for registration, we reached there early in the morning 4am at the registration date. Once again, without my parents I registered myself at UM and until now my parents still don't know the location of my University. I believe that they will know on the day I graduate. I am happy that they seem to have no worry on me, perhaps I am considered independent enough to take care of myself better. Is there any another explanation like they don't fear to lose me, because I have gone through a lot of injuries and accidents but I am still alive? LOL!! I don't think that would be a reasonable and possible reason after all! Anyway, I was very happy when my dad told me last Thursday that they are planning to go back my mother's hometown and drop me at my hostel before they leave the hometown. But yesterday he told me that he had changed his mind, and he asked an uncle for help to bring me back to my University. I didn't want to go back alone by bus, that was the reason I didn't reject the offer. But it was really upset to be given an unreal expectation.

It is always uncomfortable to meet someone unfamiliar and even worse to trouble someone you know none about him, and there are many uncertainties that make you getting worried. The uncle is a friend of my dad, a salesman who is experienced in making nice order of the furniture's materials at China on behalf of furniture production companies. Since he is so good in that, he and my father are actually on the process of making a good deal. They have been friends for about many years, and I could predict that because if my father was not close to him enough, he would never ask him for help. Getting all my stuff into his Nissan Teana, I apologized for letting him waiting for me for a short while. He started to chat with me non-stop until he dropped me at 11th residential college.

I wonder if he is a pastor, because all the time the things he talked about were about the way we should behave and the attitudes we should possess in order to be remarkable.However, he was really good on bringing new topics when it was just getting to be an utter silence. But because of that, I really understand why he could be a good salesman. I am glad to have such an elder like him to implant many important messages in my mind based on his experience. Those are really practical and real. After the long chat, it makes me pretty sure of several important attitudes to be remarkable. He shared with me about the reasons guys need to drink when talking business. I was surprised by the real sharing and I do believe that he was not boasting. He seems to be quite a humble guy, as in the way he shared with me about his thoughts, he didn't take himself as an model. He demonstrated on how to make a going-to-be-pissed-off woman to be cool down by your reply. It was really interesting and sweet about the way he replied. The reply attached with compliment would be really a good cooling agent to a going-to-quarrel situation. I believe that he is also another sweet talker like me if what he said to me is true and often applied by himself personally.         

 

I do respect that uncle, because he didn't talk with me about cars or houses If he talked about that, then I would just listen and get speechless all the way. Reaching my college, he dropped me in front of the office and we got all of my stuffs out of the car. I shake his hand and expressed my gratitude for his kindness and sharing. I couldn't believe that I could talk with a stranger for about 4 and a half hours!! But somehow I can't tell the reason why he said I would be great in the future. Is it a so-called superficial wish or a heartfelt prediction? Anyway, I replied "Hopefully~ Uncle ^^"         

Be strong and move on

The air condition is getting poor, my mother complains about the poor air condition in our hometown recently. Curiously I wonder why the sky seems to be so gray for the whole day, the difference of the colors should be clearly separately. Slowly I realized that the haze is still haunting us. It is sad to see my mother being uncomfortable due to the poor air condition, she doesn't feel good at all, but gets headache frequently. Since she is really a weak mother, she is the one that I often worry about.

I would like to write something right now, because I don't want to cease to learn English. Since learning takes a lot of time and requires patience, I would ask myself to stay humble always. I believe that one day I would have something great as return. Let me recall about the past few week. Last week, I had a 7D 6N trip with a group of awesome mates that I met in UM. Thank God that no rains spoiled the trip and my best friend, Xuan was really helpful to make our Penang trip a memorable one. I think I wouldn't be able to reciprocate this kind of selfless contribution to him, so gratefully I thank God for having such a good friend in my life.

The weekends before the trip, I participated into a Moving Up Seminar MUS organized by Galaxy Success Networking in Amway. I don't think I am going to share about the details of the trip. However, I would only mention some of the good things. The seminar was thoroughly motivating and beneficial. After having the seminar, many got motivated to have a better life and strive to accomplish something in Amway.

Some people may think that it is one of the ways to boost your sale and your networking. But in fact, regardless the real motive behind the seminar, motivating people is always a good deed to do. Life wouldn't be that stagnant if the person is filled with purpose and hope. Hopeful spirit is what  I can tell from my brothers' eyes. After the trip, they were greatly inspired and renewed with another kind of mentality. Previously, they may just accept the so-called fate, but now they would strive for any possibilities to better their own lives. It is astonishing for me to see such a drastic change actually because I thought only a regenerated new believer in Christ could be turned 180 degree. I am quite impressed by the power of love and power of motivation.

Why did I mention about the power of love? This is because the reason for my brothers to look for success is the love they feel towards the people around them, my parents and their girl friends. In the seminar, there were many talks regarding love that changed people's lives. There were many miracles happened because of love. What a great motivation due to the healthy factor!! Many cried when listening to those touching and saddening stories and some wept silently as if they were sympathizing. I stayed cool at that time, perhaps I have known the greatest love in the world.

After the seminar, my brothers and I were sharing about the feeling and motivating each others on the way back home. Clearly I discovered many similarities between Church and Amway and I shared them with my eldest brother. He was just speechless and amazed by my interpretation and explanation about all the similarities. He just realized that the founder of Amway is actually a Christian. However, the circumstance in the car became awkward and unpleasant when the topic was shifted to Christianity regarding the reason I refuse to worship my ancestors. He was seething with my so-called stubborn faith and uncompromising belief, while I knew that my words would never be able to be accepted by him. I chose to listen to MP3 in my phone with my ear phone while he was complaining about my stubbornness and superstitious belief. I don't think I am stubborn, I just believe that is truth because I love God deeply.

He said that I should respect the ancestors and be obedient to my parents' command, I shouldn't upset my parents by doing things that they don't like me to do. Yes, he is right. But shouldn't we love our parents and tell them about the truth of how to be saved? I want nothing badly but to tell them the truth that I found in the bible. Once again, it proves that I am the black sheep in the family that would never be accepted on this religious topic. I cried out at night in my room alone, I felt sad to be chosen but meanwhile glad to be adopted by God. "What to do", I whispered to myself. I am sure there is no better way else, but to dry my eyes, be strong and move on.  

Taste bad

People often try to improve themselves on many aspects just to move a little bit closer to the ideal perfection. However, instead of getting closer to perfection they would be getting closer to destruction due to their pride and greed. No one can be perfectly beautiful because the closer we see someone’s face, the more conceivable the facial flaws would become. Time goes by; the flaws would no longer be concealable but become more obvious. I believe that the skin of babies is just close to perfection, but when the babies grow up; their skin would not be that perfect. In the Bible, we can see that the history of human wasn’t getting closer to our father, people sinned and didn’t glorify the name of God for every man has lost the ability to do goods, but still has the liberty to do bad and good things after Adam failed in Eden. Frankly, we would be just like a group of lost sheep that are helpless and hopeless, if our shepherd Jesus Christ had not come to save us from the cursing gulf. Gratefully, I thank God that I have been saved for being the chosen one.

 I realized that not many one would be able to see the special side of mine. It does not mean that I have two different personalities, but I just have a belief that I usually keep from sharing. Last morning, I worshiped God in the church as usual; some members of Gideon’s community came to our church to share about the community and invited us to serve with them. I was talking to a sister from Bukit Mertajam Church who was one of the members; we had quite a long talk about service. She was just nothing but a stranger to me honestly, but we would be able to talk about faith and selfless services happily. That was not a superficial conversation but a heart-reaching interaction that encouraged me significantly. I felt glad because I have not been talking about faith openly with somebody. My teachers in the church don’t even know my spiritual growth and my longing heart to share. It is not saddening and I can understand because we don’t have time for chatting and I am no longer the boy that was desperate for someone else’s acknowledgement and attention.

My eldest brother is being active now in the business of Amway, and he has been motivated greatly by the successful men in Amway and also by the motivational talks. I am happy to see my brother sharing his happiness and stories in Amway with my parents. My parents do show their interest and express their happiness for that. It is great to see my brother striving to reach his success and aim while the whole family is supporting him sincerely. He has become the story teller now in my family and Amway becomes the hot topic that my family talks about. Anyway, about wishes and success, personally I have different opinions towards both of them. I found myself pitiful for being incapable of telling any biblical stories that are inspiring. I feel quite envious about the happiness that my brother felt while he was sharing, because I wonder when I would have that for my own. Maybe I would never have. However, the envy does not taste good at all.