I won't give up!

Finally I am back to write something in order to express something over here. Busyness is my close friend lately, while enthusiast is my identity recently. The feelings such as tired, exhaust and spent become my pillow every night, but content and satisfaction become my precious property every day.

I just finished a basketball ball training after the last training which was conducted last Thursday. Since KK 11 doesn’t have enough court for the athletes to use for training, many sports are forced to share a couple of courts. We are definitely helpless of this situation, as we do not have enough space for making more courts to satisfy the demand of athletes. Anyway, I believe that we can still carry our physical training without a court as long as we have the desire for improvement.

Our college basketball team has been the championship in SUKMUM for three years successively. I was blessed to enjoy the championship for two years out of three. But I have never admitted that the championship doesn’t belong to me, as I don’t think I was really accountable for that. This year, 8 seniors left after graduation, they left only three players in our college. It set me into a trouble now, as I need to rebuild the team. I found that this is not an easy task for me to build them up, unless they wanted to improve very badly. That is why people said that it is difficult to force a cow to drink if it doesn’t want to drink at all.

I am a person who strives to give the best in everything that I choose to do. I don’t think that I can be the best among the best, but I always push myself to get the best of myself. It is fair enough to compete myself with the man I was yesterday. I believe this kind of motive can drive me forward nonstop. Therefore, I like to get along with the people who possess the same principle like me, as I choose to get emerged into this environment in order to get myself inspired often. On the other hand, I would feel dismayed if the people around me find self-improvement or the pursuit of achievement indifferent to them. People like that are mostly unmotivated and dismaying to other people. They don’t help people to grow as they don’t know the significance of growth.

In my basketball team of my college, I feel sorry that I didn’t manage to spend time with the team. I tried my best to initiate training as much as possible so that they would have to come down to get their muscles stressed and grown. I failed to make more as I have some other commitments that I would have to give. However, I encouraged them to have training on their own instead of waiting for my call. I just hope that they can do something for the team or may be for my desire to have a good fight with them in SUKMUM. But most of them do not have any personal training and I found that was understandable meanwhile upsetting.

The whole world is waiting to beat our college basketball team this year; the whole world is getting ready to defeat us aggressively. I heard that the teams who got insulted for being defeated by our team last year are going to revenge this year. Everyone is looking forward to meet us in the match. I am not afraid at all, but I feel sad that the whole world knows that my team is no longer threatening to them. It is such a humiliation to me that the opponents don’t find my team threatening at all. My roommates joked and asked me not to get into the battle so that I am not accountable for the loss. I replied that I would never escape the battle, it was sad that the victory did not belong to me, it would be worse if the loss doesn’t belong to me this year.

I wanted to prove that people need to defeat us with sweats and pains. I wanted to prove that expectation to defeat us at ease is laughable. I wanted to prove that the new men can defeat you guys next year. But I realized that I have nothing much to prove this year, as we may not be able to survive for any longer in SUKMUM. It is not me who loses hope in my tea, it is the situation that stops myself for being a dreamer who naively dreams for a championship this year. However, this year I think I am really accountable for everything that may happen to my team, as I am the manager of the team who was troubled to get the team well managed, and get the jersey order done at last minute. I am also the Captain of the team who called them to have trainings throughout this season; I am also the player who tries to train himself to be a better player with better performance.

God set me into this situation. He knows my pride is going to turn me down. He knows me very much more than how much I understand my own self. This year, in CC, I am no longer authoritative and influential.  There are many things that I would like to better but there is no ways for me to help. Somehow I know that I won’t let go, but consciously I know that I shouldn’t do anything for that. I believe I need to learn how to accept with an open heart. I need to humble down as a servant and stop trying to satisfy my self-centeredness by doing anything. Anyway, I would pray for my team, I won't give up on them as God never forsakes me.