Why so serious?

During this Chinese New Year, I found many of my friends have come out a conclusion saying that being serious in a relationship is an utter folly. This kind of conclusion is not something they come out based on their imagination, but their experience. Most of them experienced tragedy in their relationship which they took it very seriously at past. The pain was directly proportional with the seriousness they had in the relationship. They were hurt by the girls and they lost hope in a so-called true love eventually.

With this experience, they have come out with that conclusion. I could understand the thought of making this conclusion. They never want to be hurt anymore in any relationship in the future. Therefore, not being serious in a relationship helps them to avoid from being hurt, even if the relationship turns to be a failure after all. It can be considered as a way of self-protection. In this case, I would believe that they would rather hurt other people instead of hurting themselves. It doesn’t seem to be healthy.

I have a good friend who doesn’t have many good friends in her life. She seems to be very cool and unfriendly, but in fact she is just a very selfless and gracious girl who refuses to reveal her thought and feeling most of the time. When she was about to leave us to another stage of her life, she left a chat group that she had with a gang. She said that instead of facing the possibility of being forgotten in the future by the gang, she would rather leave in advance so that she won’t be hurt after all. I told her that it is up to her for making the decision after all, but when you build a wall between you and other people, people won’t be able to hurt you and meanwhile they are no longer able to love you. That was another way of self-protection.  

   

Not being serious in a relationship seems to be a smart strategy to many people. But actually it brings you to a very lamentable situation where you can hardly get into a relationship with true love. In this world, we learn from mistakes and we learn to be strong with the pain that mistakes may bring to us. I am not encouraging you to gain mistakes as much as possible. Instead, I am saying bad things to us can be converted into a kind of blessing that benefits us somehow. Besides, we need to stop making the same mistakes, if you are making the same mistakes, perhaps you might be an ignorant person who doesn’t know how to learn from mistakes wisely.

It is the same theory when doing a business. When you are facing problem in your business, you know your sale is not ideal and you are going to face losses. You know you failed to manage your business. It is either you stop doing business from that period to avoid failure from happening again or you do another better business planning and gain your own assets in order to have a great fight once again without worrying about the potential failure that you may face. When you keep trying with constantly self-examination, you are blessed. I believe only serious and thoughtful businessman could succeed eventually. A playful and casual man can hardly succeed in anything he does.

If you start a relationship with another person without seriousness, please share with that person your thought so that he or she won’t be serious as well. This relationship is not meant to last longer, it will cease when the time is come. Marriage may be a good topic to be discussed, but may not be a good thing to be fulfilled in that kind of relationship. I would say that a playful business will only waste his time and money to try his business, he doesn't bother to be serious and he will only do business for fun instead of the profits and triumph.          

Driving under the influence of alcohol

My father is a very humorous and sociable man who has made a lot of friends throughout his life. During this Chinese New Year, one of his old friends, Uncle G invited him to his party last week. My father brought the whole family to his house and enjoyed time over there. It has been a long time since the last time I met Uncle G. He gave me a lot of good impression due to his generosity, humor and friendliness. Of course, it was kind of awkward to mingle with him as we are not that close.

Another thing that impressed me is that he is a great alcoholic drink lover. One of his hobbies is to drink with a group of funny men. The younger brother of my father, Uncle 5 likes to drink with him very well. They enjoy the drinking time very much. My father asked me not to drink over there as I might be the driver for my family later on. Therefore, my task was to escape from the passionate treatment of all the drink feeders.

I realized that alcohol can work to bind the people effectively. It helps to magnify their friendliness and soon they get along among themselves very well. Laughter filled up the garden and sometimes it doesn’t need to have a valid reason to amuse them. They could laugh for nothing. My dad talked Uncle T in the gathering. That uncle was his old friend and often asked him out for drinking when I was very young. Uncle T got married with a Japanese woman. She came along with Uncle T and joined the gathering.

After a long while, they dismissed and Uncle T and his wife followed our car in order to go back his home. Since Uncle T got into an accident long ago when Uncle G was bringing him and his wife back home under the influence of alcohol. Therefore, Uncle T kept nagging my father to drive safely and slowly. I knew my father was in conscious but he deliberately drove like a drunken man and made Uncle T reacted like an anxious coward.

When we were on the way back, we saw a car getting into an accident, and stuck on the road separator. My dad laughed to the car and said:” I’m not drunk, he is drunk!” This joke made the car filled with laughter and no one was bothering to see the number board of the car. But Uncle T was still very cautious and reminding my dad to keep watching in front and stop talking. After we sent them back home, we went back home as well. When we reached home, my dad received a call from Uncle 5. Uncle 5 got into an accident for his drunkenness. The car was seriously damaged but luckily the passengers got no injury. Finally, my father only realized that the victim of the accident that he saw on the way back home was his brother Uncle 5. We were speechless after all as we passed by him without any hesitation.                 

What have you planned?

In this Chinese New Year, I have been meeting with many old friends. I realized that most of them have graduated and some are about to graduate very soon. Therefore this kind of question is inevitable in most of the conversation – What have you planned to do after graduation? This is a very common question after all meanwhile this is also a troublesome question to many. Some have been refusing to think about that in advance; they planned to think about that when the time comes. Some have come out with a lot of ideas and plans.

No matter what, in my opinion it is always good to prepare ourselves before we could step into a further stage. This can help us to avoid many unnecessary problems if we prepare ourselves well. Other than that, it is also encouraging to discuss about topic like that in order to challenge our mindset by receiving different information and opinions from various perspectives. It would leave you no harm if you are able to sort them out, it would be your headache if you are not able to analyze them well.

There was a conversation between two friends of mine. They are thoughtful in certain topics and for their thoughtfulness they often come out with certain ideas on many things. They could share with you many things with a lot of suggestions and opinions. They may not be truly experienced for most of the ideas they have are what they have learnt from their elders who are currently working. One day they discussed about the best path of future career they have had in their minds. A thinks that it is good to work overseas in order to earn money with better value compared to the value of Ringgit. Working for several years overseas, gaining experience that we could not get in Malaysia, saving money with better value, and eventually coming back Malaysia and have a brand-new start with a lot of money as his asset becomes an ideal plan for him.

On the other hand, B did not support A’s idea. B believes that A would not come back to Malaysia as he may be getting satisfied and settled down over there. The offered income in Malaysia can hardly succeed to attract him; nothing would make him to stay at Malaysia. Eventually, A’s plan will not work according to his original plan. Therefore, B disagreed with A’s saying. B thinks that working in Malaysia is not as bad as what people have been talking about. At least, you are still in your own country and you don’t have to be treated as a foreign laborer. If you would start your own business and manage them well, you would have your own business with mature growth, and you don’t need to get a new start after several years.

Man would normally insist on their own ideas though they found that other people do not possess the same opinion on something. Some may get to be very defensive when they couldn't manage to get people’s agreement and approval on something. They are not exceptions of course; the conversation somehow got to be rather aggressive. They were trying to convince each other by making repetition of their sharing in order to make clear of their opinions. It didn't help them to reach an agreement of course.

In my opinion, their ideas are ideal and great. Both can work in real life and we can find many successful examples from the people around us. However, it will never be easy to fulfill a good plan. But the changes within the process of fulfilling our plan are unpredictable and those are what may lead us away from our original plan. We can plan in a way that accords to our ambition, desire and preference, but no one will dare to swear that he can fulfill his plan exactly for many things are not in our control. However, from that conversation, a question was given to us – What would I plan for my future? I believe I could get the best answer for that if I could get to know the will of God on me. Reveal your wills, for I wish to know and fulfill them.          

Money is everything?

Gathering with my friends during this Chinese New Year, I got various conversations in these few days. Healthy discussion about some interesting topics can stimulate our mind often and challenge our worldview most of the time. It is a great challenge that I welcome all the time.

“Money is everything” was one of the memorable topics that I discussed with my friend. I totally disagree with that. To me, money is just a tool, a measurement of economic value. He came out this statement:” Man cannot live without money; there are many things money can purchase for you, only 1% of things in the world you cannot purchase them with money. Money can help you to solve many essential problems and help you having an easier life. Many families got problems because of their financial insufficiency.”

I would like to say that money is something essential to solve some daily and essential problems in your life such as clothing, food, housing and transport. Those are the problems that the refugees in the world face. They don’t have houses with roof, not even good clothes and sufficient foods. If you have money, of course you won’t be one of them.

However, possessing a lot of properties and money may not always bring you good. If you do not manage your money properly, it can curse you instead of blessing you. I have seen many rich people they don’t take care of their health properly, they got drunk often every night; don’t bother having a healthy life style. Eventually, they faced a lot of health problems and that was too late to give them any effective treatment by the time they realized. In this case, money is not health.

Besides that, money can bring a relationship disaggregation. The more money you possess, the more options in life you have. Temptations come when you don’t make a wise decision. Rich guys who like to go clubs seldom manage to secure the feeling of security of their wives. Other ladies would like to find the opportunity to get advantages from them. They are attractive and seductive for they are fresh and young to the rich guys. It is really tempting for guys getting into a relationship with fresh and young girls for it is full of surprises and mysteries. Eventually, this would lead the relationship of the married couple to serious destruction. In this case, money is not love.

There are still many things that money cannot replace them. I am not saying that I don’t need money at all; I do need it of course. But I am trying to say that money should never be our center of life. We shouldn’t be the salve of money; instead we should be a smart money manager so that it won’t bring harm to our lives. Money doesn’t always bring goods; it depends on the nature of the persons. We should examine our nature well before we could have a lot of money to use.