Recalling

Sitting in front of laptop, typing with my fingers on the keyboard, I am writing my post after a long period silence.

Let's recall some memories which are fresh. There are really plentiful and I don't think I am able to write them all down by words.

This new semester began, I had been preparing the event in my college which was MKTH. We call it Tiong Hua Cultural Night. It was quite a big project, much time and effort is needed to make it a successful one. The main purpose of this event is to unite the Chinese in our college. Throughout the preparation, I found that it is really difficult to lead the people who are not dedicated to work with you with 100% effort. I wonder if I am not qualified to be a good leader, as I failed to make majority to be more proactive in order to reduce the burden of other dedicated members whom I appreciate greatly.

People said I should be more mean and strict so that they would fear me and follow what I command. I don't think that will work, because I pay no money to them, they don;t have the obligation to work with me. How can I ensure that they won't run away after I show my anger for their passiveness? If they run away, I think the thing would be the same after all. I am happy that I learn a lot of things and met a lot of friends of different ages that I didn't expect to get during this preparation. However, I feel quite a failure that I couldn't draw the people to me along the way I prepare my event.

What is going on? Our CC has done a lot of things and activities just to bind them closer for the sake of the future, but what I realized is that people unite when there is benefit and fun for them, they will dismiss and turn their status into unavailable to you all if you want them to contribute or put effort on something. I found it suck and really realistic. I don't find it unfair to me, as I don't really care how much I have contributed, I just feel really unfair for the people who worked with me wholeheartedly but eventually they had the feeling of giving up due to the exhaustion and discouragement.

I found that people are really selfish and it is hard to find a person who lend you his helping hands without asking anything as return. I think after this, I will be more thankful to the people who are willing to take action to help me. Thank God for anything.