Chatting with friends is kind of good activity in my opinion. I never rejected people from talking to me as it always gives me the chance to show my concern and share my thoughts. I believe that many friends know that I like to talk. Some find me annoying because I would ask all sorts of questions that they have never been questioned while some would like to ask about some opinions from me regarding a particular topic as I would always give them something at least.
One day, one of my good friend asked me a question about fate. Literally he asked about the way that Christians regard individual fate. It is really a good question because the world view from different opinions can be a very confusing and meanwhile interesting topic. I am not going to list down the dialogs, as I am not really clear of the detail.
World view of one Christian must be the same standard for other Christians because as a Christian, we don't fix the world view according to our own personal opinion or limited knowledge. However, we believe that Bible is the words of God which states the story of the world from the beginning to the end and directs everything to one point - God and the world view we could learn from the bible is claimed to be the only truth. Basically, a Christian would believe that is true, otherwise they won't be considered as a real believer.
We believe that Bible has stated many things and everything that we ought to know, while there are still a lot of things that we don't know. I believe that we will not be able to understand the purpose of God for allowing something to happen even though he reveals to us the reasons, because we are not as intelligent as God. The reason is that simple. Normally, we cannot accept something we couldn't understand, but it doesn't change the existence of the things just because we deny the truth while we are not capable to understand.
As I was told that, at old time people believe that the Earth is in cubic shape, we will reach an edge and fall off from the edge if we go too far. This seems to be logical as the ground is apparently flat and plain. Logically, cubic Earth seemed to be very true at that period. However, now we are able to see more and eventually realized that cubic Earth can never be true anymore but has become a ridiculous joke instead. What I wanted to say is that our human knowledge and technology will grow with time, and we have things that we haven't known completely so far. The apparently logical theory that you can manage to accept may not be the truth. However, I still believe that I may be wrong after all.
What he believes is that everyone was born in this world equally in the beginning, with financially and conditionally equality. When there is fairness, we are able to compare justly. The comparison according to good doings determines the people's reincarnation. The more good things you do, the better the reincarnation you will be granted. The inequality nowadays was mainly due to their bad doings. Therefore people in rich family had done a lot of good things for the previous life time, while people in poor family suffered for the bad doings they did during their previous life time. If you want to have a better reincarnation, you need to do goods. People are given the chance to fight for their future or the so-called good reincarnation, it seems to be fair enough and logical to him.
He questioned me about the reasons God put people in different condition when they are born. God is unfair and unjust to treat people unequally. In my opinion, what seems to be good doesn't lead to good ending all the time, while what seems to be bad doesn't always lead us to tragedy. We can never judge the quality of a condition correctly unless we know the ending it will bring. A love story can be romantic throughout the scenes, but both are dead at the end. It becomes a saddening story eventually while it was good and wonderful in the beginning.
In the sight of God, there is no difference between rich people and poor people. They are the same, the sinners who need salvation and compassion from the merciful God. They are sinners who need to face judgement eventually if they don't repent and surrender their life to Jesus Christ, the savior. God is a just and faithful God who means what he says and what he said has become true. This is one of the extraordinary powers that he alone possesses. The world needs to pay for their sins as the world doesn't glorify the Lord in the way they are supposed to. Nonetheless, God loves the world till he gave his only son to us just to sacrifice for our salvation. It is really non-understandable, priceless and gracious.
With this information, my friend once again questioned me about the reasons why loving God doesn't just save everyone by easy actions, but doing all these troublesome things. People would think that God is really stupid, because he is the boss who is able to change the rule of the world and save the people by uttering, "Sons, I love you all equally, and I don't want you all to be fallen. I would like to announce that you all are forgiven from now onwards." Nevertheless, God is a faithful God who fulfills his words and promises by all means. If he doesn't obey the rules he has set for the world, he can never be utterly faithful. Faithfulness is one of his unchanged natures.
Death is the payment for a sin to be forgiven. Since the world is too sinful, normal death or scrifice can never be able to save the world. The holiest thing in the world, Jesus Christ, the anointed son of God is the most holy and powerful sacrifice which is capable to cleanse every single sin of the world at once and for all. You may realized that we have done nothing on our own salvation. The purpose is to bring people to submission and humility due to our helplessness and thankfulness for the precious salvation.
I believe that people don't find this kind of "free lunch" reliable and workable. We used to pay something for getting something good. However, the thought of saving our own lives with our own ability and power is not appreciated in God's sight. If we are able to get the salvation based on our own behavior and power, the glory will belong to our own beings and we are then to be prideful and self-centered. God hates pride that leads to unbelief and unendurable self-glorification. This kind of sinful pride lead us to despair and everlasting death. Salvation is not something like payment for your performance during your living life. Instead it is a gift of grace to us due to nothing but the love of God.
I believe that human is like a machine. We need maintenance and boost sometimes. We were designed for some purposes. In fact, we are nothing if the engineer didn't create us. We are weak and incapable to finish some tasks, but the engineer is there to upgrade us with his intelligent. What can a machine do to save themselves? Machine always comes out voices when it has problems. But they can't do anything to help unless the engineer does something to help. I believe that God is the engineer that created us. I thank God that he is a loving engineer. He is the boss of our life.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Fear for something unfamiliar 3
There is another common phenomenon that most of the people fear death. Death is another fearful thing that majority refuse to discuss and mention in daily life. The reasons for it to be fearful are the uncertainty of the soul condition and the unknown future of the soul after death. We don't know what will happen to us after we die unless we experience death. However religions were brought out in the society by mankind have come out various theories about death.
Some believe and share the theory that after death we will have recarnication. This theory means that we don't have ending in our life, it is like a cycle. One life ends, another new life will begin. We may be in a different form or person after a single reincarnation. In this belief, they think that if you do goods and practice good behaviors in your limited life in the world, you will be having a better reincarnation. Some believe that you need to reach a certain self-consciousness so that you will be able to turn into a Buddha (God) after death. Some believe that you need to fulfill the letters of law in a religion accordingly in order to get a seat in heaven. Different theories can be logical to different people. Some even think that they are all existing. We can reach to God or become a God in our own way using those theories. You can go to your heaven and I can become a Buddha (God) on our own without conflict.
It is kind of interesting thing if both theories can co-exist. However, the truth about life is only one. One miracle doer who was also a powerful healer, an authoritative teacher of wisdom said in the past;"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. (John 14:6)" He healed men with various diseases, casted ghosts out from men, died for the people's sin as a holy nad umblemished sacrifice, raised from the death and promised us He will return as a Salvior of his people when the day comes. I believe many matters have only one truth behind. The two stories and beliefs about Jesus in Al-Quran and Bible are apparently different on certain aspects, they both can be wrong, but they both cannot be right at the same time. We cannot just admit that your belief is true and mine is not wrong without reasoning. A girl can never be a boy just because you believe that he is a boy.(no special operation involves by the way.) There is only one true statement after all.
In my opinion, people fear death not only for its uncertainty. Perhaps, people know there is God who is going to judge them accordling to their sins after death and they are afraid of reaching the court of the ultimate judgement. Bible says:"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, tehy did not honor him as God or give thanks to him but they became futile n their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened."(Romans 1:20-22) I believe that this statement is true, as we can see millions of people seek for GOd nowadays, and some of them become the God of themselves.
Some believe and share the theory that after death we will have recarnication. This theory means that we don't have ending in our life, it is like a cycle. One life ends, another new life will begin. We may be in a different form or person after a single reincarnation. In this belief, they think that if you do goods and practice good behaviors in your limited life in the world, you will be having a better reincarnation. Some believe that you need to reach a certain self-consciousness so that you will be able to turn into a Buddha (God) after death. Some believe that you need to fulfill the letters of law in a religion accordingly in order to get a seat in heaven. Different theories can be logical to different people. Some even think that they are all existing. We can reach to God or become a God in our own way using those theories. You can go to your heaven and I can become a Buddha (God) on our own without conflict.
It is kind of interesting thing if both theories can co-exist. However, the truth about life is only one. One miracle doer who was also a powerful healer, an authoritative teacher of wisdom said in the past;"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. (John 14:6)" He healed men with various diseases, casted ghosts out from men, died for the people's sin as a holy nad umblemished sacrifice, raised from the death and promised us He will return as a Salvior of his people when the day comes. I believe many matters have only one truth behind. The two stories and beliefs about Jesus in Al-Quran and Bible are apparently different on certain aspects, they both can be wrong, but they both cannot be right at the same time. We cannot just admit that your belief is true and mine is not wrong without reasoning. A girl can never be a boy just because you believe that he is a boy.(no special operation involves by the way.) There is only one true statement after all.
In my opinion, people fear death not only for its uncertainty. Perhaps, people know there is God who is going to judge them accordling to their sins after death and they are afraid of reaching the court of the ultimate judgement. Bible says:"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, tehy did not honor him as God or give thanks to him but they became futile n their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened."(Romans 1:20-22) I believe that this statement is true, as we can see millions of people seek for GOd nowadays, and some of them become the God of themselves.
Fear for something unfamiliar 2
People fear love (relationship), I find this kind of phenomena very common. I realized that the younger the generations, the more vulnerable and diffident they are. I have heard many opinions of my friends about relationship, mostly they judge that love is complicated and relationship is troublesome. In addition, they don't really know about the purpose of getting in a relationship. Many people will automatically come out with different opinions regarding its purpose. Anyway, since the truth of love is not really well-defined in the world, eventually love becomes one of the most fearful things people scare of. It is invisible and meanwhile mysterious. Hundreds of people wrote thousands of songs about love, those are romantic, sentimental, agitating and of other kinds.
We look for love but contradictorily we scare of getting into a relationship. We scare of getting hurt, once we fail in a relationship. We believe that kind of hurt can never be healed completely because many suicide cases were mainly due to the heartbroken relationship. Besides that, we have seen a lot of sad cases happening among our friends, and we don't hope that happen to us one day. I have asked a friend of mine about the determination of searching for good partner. He shared with me about his willingness to have a life partner for the rest of his life, it is some sort of wonderful wish in my opinion. I appreciate his honesty in the sharing. However, the fear of getting hurt keeps him from getting further to know girls and to realize his wonderful will deep down in his heart. I feel seriously sad for being helpless to encourage him, not everybody can take the risk and dry their tears anyhow.
Nonetheless, I still believe that we will never be able to enjoy the wonderful view of rainbow unless we go through the fearful storms and rains! What is the point for us to go through all these challenges just to see the view of rainbow? Why don't we just be satisfied of what we are having now and move on as usual? It is good to be self-satisfied so that we won't be unhappy, but I believe there are many more wonderful things and experiences that God has waited to grant us in the future. I strongly believe that life can be a brand-new one once after every single time we experience the grace of God. We shouldn't just be static and self-satisfied of whatever we have while we reject to explore in our life. We cannot feel good on our own while we reject to know the great things outside our comfort zone. Eventually, we are just like the frog at the bottom of the well which never enjoys the view outside the well.
We look for love but contradictorily we scare of getting into a relationship. We scare of getting hurt, once we fail in a relationship. We believe that kind of hurt can never be healed completely because many suicide cases were mainly due to the heartbroken relationship. Besides that, we have seen a lot of sad cases happening among our friends, and we don't hope that happen to us one day. I have asked a friend of mine about the determination of searching for good partner. He shared with me about his willingness to have a life partner for the rest of his life, it is some sort of wonderful wish in my opinion. I appreciate his honesty in the sharing. However, the fear of getting hurt keeps him from getting further to know girls and to realize his wonderful will deep down in his heart. I feel seriously sad for being helpless to encourage him, not everybody can take the risk and dry their tears anyhow.
Nonetheless, I still believe that we will never be able to enjoy the wonderful view of rainbow unless we go through the fearful storms and rains! What is the point for us to go through all these challenges just to see the view of rainbow? Why don't we just be satisfied of what we are having now and move on as usual? It is good to be self-satisfied so that we won't be unhappy, but I believe there are many more wonderful things and experiences that God has waited to grant us in the future. I strongly believe that life can be a brand-new one once after every single time we experience the grace of God. We shouldn't just be static and self-satisfied of whatever we have while we reject to explore in our life. We cannot feel good on our own while we reject to know the great things outside our comfort zone. Eventually, we are just like the frog at the bottom of the well which never enjoys the view outside the well.
Fear for something unfamiliar 1
Uncertainty always gives us the feeling of insecurity because we are not sure and diffident to explore. We are advised not to talk with strangers, because we don't know what they may do to us. We are advised not to take the road that people rarely pick, because we are not sure what kind of place it will lead us to. Obviously and commonly, we fear the unfamiliarity and uncertainty.
People fear to go to a new place, because the place is unfamiliar. They might scare to get lost on the way going to the place, and get roped halfway unluckily because they don't know about the security condition over there. Eventually, people prefer to stay back to their own comfort zone that gives them the feeling of certainty and security. However, I have experienced many wonderful matters in my life once I took the opportunities to get into a new situation and a new place. I met funny friends during my national service, I met good teachers during Form 6 and I thank God seriously for I encountered God when I was brought into Christianity. I am pretty sure that I would make the same decision as what I have made to step out from my comfort zone often if I am given a chance to restart my life. After all, I believe that life is colorless for being stagnant, we need to cheer it up by having constant changes on certain aspects from one time to another.
Some people fear of getting along with strangers. I still remember that someone said that we will never meet good friends after our secondary school. This is because new friends didn't spend time with us during our crazy and memorable youth, end up we don't have memories in common. I believe that would be the influence but we can always create a new memory with anyone. I met a lot of crazy and good buddies along the way after my secondary school life. Those friends are actually helpful and friendly, not worse than the friends I made during my secondary school. Perhaps I have the habit to make new friends around, that's why I am not afraid of meeting new faces and having talks with them friendly. However, I know this kind of habit is not something can be commonly found around us. Perhaps, the fear of getting to know other strangers keeps us from being friendly and funny.How miserable it is!
People fear to go to a new place, because the place is unfamiliar. They might scare to get lost on the way going to the place, and get roped halfway unluckily because they don't know about the security condition over there. Eventually, people prefer to stay back to their own comfort zone that gives them the feeling of certainty and security. However, I have experienced many wonderful matters in my life once I took the opportunities to get into a new situation and a new place. I met funny friends during my national service, I met good teachers during Form 6 and I thank God seriously for I encountered God when I was brought into Christianity. I am pretty sure that I would make the same decision as what I have made to step out from my comfort zone often if I am given a chance to restart my life. After all, I believe that life is colorless for being stagnant, we need to cheer it up by having constant changes on certain aspects from one time to another.
Some people fear of getting along with strangers. I still remember that someone said that we will never meet good friends after our secondary school. This is because new friends didn't spend time with us during our crazy and memorable youth, end up we don't have memories in common. I believe that would be the influence but we can always create a new memory with anyone. I met a lot of crazy and good buddies along the way after my secondary school life. Those friends are actually helpful and friendly, not worse than the friends I made during my secondary school. Perhaps I have the habit to make new friends around, that's why I am not afraid of meeting new faces and having talks with them friendly. However, I know this kind of habit is not something can be commonly found around us. Perhaps, the fear of getting to know other strangers keeps us from being friendly and funny.How miserable it is!
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Interaction = Complication?
"Brother, why are you so down? Say something leh~", it is what I used to hear when I was trying to be a quiet and good listener in a group as I am aware that many people don't have much chances to be known and heard.The situation used to be silent and awkward somehow when I keep silent and being inactive on finding the topics. I hardly failed to build a nice and comfortable atmosphere during any outing, unless I was handling my own emotions and thoughts. However, personally I find this task not as a duty, but an enjoyment to be accomplished willingly, because I hope that people getting along with me can be happy after all.
But recently in the gang that I used to mingle around, I started to be very inactive. I don't think it is a bad thing because maybe it is the time for me to be a mere listener and wondering who could take over my job that I used to fulfill. I know that one of my weaknesses is to be very talkative and excessively active on discussing certain topics while other people seem to be neglected, having the sense of being left out. I don't mean to be that dominant most of the time, it is just that sometime people don't appreciate the chance I have given. I used to be the one who asked for the opinions from somebody, but it seems to have nothing in their minds about the topics as they left me utterly awkward silence that never failed to embarrass me and the situation. I am tired of this kind of tackling unhealthy response that give no respect and concern to the questions that I asked kindly. Eventually, I don't like to control the condition, and be responsible of the atmosphere. It is not enjoyable when people are not cooperative.
People want to have a good outing that all the way we can chit chat casually nonstop. However, I found some of them like to stop people talking or pay no attention on the serious things other people shared. They are behaviors that cause meaningless interaction and unhealthy communication.
Communication never works one way, as it is in two ways which means at least one messenger delivers a message to someone, and someone gets the information correctly. Response is likely to be given if one wishes to continue the communication. If the person refuse or fail to get certain messages and respond inappropriately, proper and normal communication can never be accomplished. It sounds very serious, doesn't it? People don't realize the things sometimes. Eventually, they find it hard to better the condition of the mood in a group. They prefer to go out with people that they are familiar and comfortable with. It is a smart decision to hang out with your own gang, but your communication skills would not be well-developed.
It is troublesome indeed to take care of someone's feeling instead of our own feeling so that good mood can be built up. But selflessness can train us to be a more selfless and happy person who possess the ability to see things in different perspectives and the ability to bring happiness and concern to the people around. I hardly find someone who actually shows their concern to me by asking about my condition. Instead, I seems to be the rare one who always concern about people's condition when I met those bad faces.
In my opinion, interaction can never be healthy without concern and the sense of love. If you don't show your concern on someone in an interaction, the talk can never be meaningful and beneficial. On the other hand, interaction filled with only foolish jokes and purposeless laughter is miserable and superficial which brings vanity to our lives. You gain no respect and love, life seems to be unmotivated and words seem to be too playful and discouraging person to have more meaningful and mature talks.
But recently in the gang that I used to mingle around, I started to be very inactive. I don't think it is a bad thing because maybe it is the time for me to be a mere listener and wondering who could take over my job that I used to fulfill. I know that one of my weaknesses is to be very talkative and excessively active on discussing certain topics while other people seem to be neglected, having the sense of being left out. I don't mean to be that dominant most of the time, it is just that sometime people don't appreciate the chance I have given. I used to be the one who asked for the opinions from somebody, but it seems to have nothing in their minds about the topics as they left me utterly awkward silence that never failed to embarrass me and the situation. I am tired of this kind of tackling unhealthy response that give no respect and concern to the questions that I asked kindly. Eventually, I don't like to control the condition, and be responsible of the atmosphere. It is not enjoyable when people are not cooperative.
People want to have a good outing that all the way we can chit chat casually nonstop. However, I found some of them like to stop people talking or pay no attention on the serious things other people shared. They are behaviors that cause meaningless interaction and unhealthy communication.
Communication never works one way, as it is in two ways which means at least one messenger delivers a message to someone, and someone gets the information correctly. Response is likely to be given if one wishes to continue the communication. If the person refuse or fail to get certain messages and respond inappropriately, proper and normal communication can never be accomplished. It sounds very serious, doesn't it? People don't realize the things sometimes. Eventually, they find it hard to better the condition of the mood in a group. They prefer to go out with people that they are familiar and comfortable with. It is a smart decision to hang out with your own gang, but your communication skills would not be well-developed.
It is troublesome indeed to take care of someone's feeling instead of our own feeling so that good mood can be built up. But selflessness can train us to be a more selfless and happy person who possess the ability to see things in different perspectives and the ability to bring happiness and concern to the people around. I hardly find someone who actually shows their concern to me by asking about my condition. Instead, I seems to be the rare one who always concern about people's condition when I met those bad faces.
In my opinion, interaction can never be healthy without concern and the sense of love. If you don't show your concern on someone in an interaction, the talk can never be meaningful and beneficial. On the other hand, interaction filled with only foolish jokes and purposeless laughter is miserable and superficial which brings vanity to our lives. You gain no respect and love, life seems to be unmotivated and words seem to be too playful and discouraging person to have more meaningful and mature talks.
CC Head - End
Last Tuesday night, 11th CC High Committees for the academic session of 2012/2013 was claimed to be reaching the end. However, 11th CC High Committees for session of 2013/2014 has been raised. Most of us felt really released for letting go of this quite a troublesome responsibility as a servant of Chinese Community in our College. However, I felt quite unhappy of letting go of my position somehow. Normally, I should be happy, because it has taken me a lot of time and attention. Jin Yang congratulated me that I have let go the position eventually, while I told him that it was not a really good thing to me as I don't find it pleasant. He said:" I think it is because you found that you haven't done your part wholeheartedly and finally you feel guilty and irresponsible after AGM." It was really a funny thing to know. I was wondering whether I should be happy as how he felt once he let go the position of the President of Chinese Society. He felt extremely happy and relieved, as I think he didn't really enjoy for being the President.
There are many reasons that I know why I am not really happy of that. Perhaps, I think that I can no longer get under the spotlight after this, or get to have the feeling of belonging in CC, or get to be listened and respected as a Head. I feel like I have sacrificed a lot for it, while outside seems to have nothing for me to pursue, as the link of mine with the things outside my campus seems to be too loose and weak. I may find that I may no longer belong to it if I am not the committee of it. However, I know I have to let go and grow to another extent that I ought to reach for my future. There are still younger and dedicated committees that would be able to take over our place and take care of CC wholeheartedly. We can't always be there for them, as the time we are here is limited actually.
Nothing is perfect, our new CC high committees can never be exception. We strove for making their bond stronger and healthier so that they won't break that easily when the problems and challenges arrive. I pray for the new PMs and for the coming intake students all the best. May God bless them.
There are many reasons that I know why I am not really happy of that. Perhaps, I think that I can no longer get under the spotlight after this, or get to have the feeling of belonging in CC, or get to be listened and respected as a Head. I feel like I have sacrificed a lot for it, while outside seems to have nothing for me to pursue, as the link of mine with the things outside my campus seems to be too loose and weak. I may find that I may no longer belong to it if I am not the committee of it. However, I know I have to let go and grow to another extent that I ought to reach for my future. There are still younger and dedicated committees that would be able to take over our place and take care of CC wholeheartedly. We can't always be there for them, as the time we are here is limited actually.
Nothing is perfect, our new CC high committees can never be exception. We strove for making their bond stronger and healthier so that they won't break that easily when the problems and challenges arrive. I pray for the new PMs and for the coming intake students all the best. May God bless them.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Mandeta 2012/2013
MANDETA used to be one of the money-spending projects in our college. People used to find it very expensive especially when you found the dishes there fail to satisfy your appetite and fill up your stomach. People in our college tried thousand ways just to escape from paying the money for the projects. I found the foods for this time were really insufficient for me, and I was not really happy of that, as I paid RM120 for that, MAN!! Haiz..I wonder if I am able to gather our college people to wear in black and protest in order to fight back for our money. In addition, RM120 is not the only reason for the project to be expensive, the new dress we buy for the prom night can cost us a lot as well. I bought new formal shirt this time, so I am one of the victims!
However, I found this event meant a lot this time. Perhaps, it's like a signal telling me that I am at the stage of letting go of my position to juniors. The feeling of proud got extremely intensive especially when i was lining up with other JTK members before going up to get our award. It is nothing proud to be given the award, because it is something that is temporary praise and compliment. The reason for me to feel proud of myself is that I didn't feel regret of choosing this path of serving my own college and even CC members that I care for much. I thank God for teaching me how to serve without expecting any so-called worldly prize and award during this year of study. I just felt really happy of this achievement that I knew it's hard to be accomplished. Deep inside my heart, I found no sorrow, though I knew I sacrificed a lot of stuffs unnecessarily.
Hanafi turned to me and asked me whether I think he has done a very good job before he got up to take his own award from Master. I just told him:" Brother, maybe we didn't make it a very good job, but I believe that we have strove to fulfill our duty and I think you have given the best to us, so just feel proud of yourself." I said it honestly to him, as I really found that he has been so much dedicated and helpful throughout the time of being JTK. Meanwhile, I examined myself before I got to the stage, I knew that I have neglected somebody in CC and I felt very sorry of that. Just hope that they are able to forgive my helplessness and weakness for being an imperfect person.
This MANDATE, I experienced special feeling when I was taking photos with my seniors. One of the seniors whose name is Pamela is the final year senior. She came to me politely and happily, asked me to take photo with her. She said :" Chyi Chun, let's take a photo. This is the last time already." I found slight sorrow in the last sentence. I replied:" Ya! Sure!". We have never shared a common story in our lives, but just got the feeling of loss. We used to have short chat sometimes, when we met in cafeteria. She looked really beautiful that night~
After taking photo with her, I had an idea popping out in my mind. I wanted to find another senior that I care very much, in order to take photo with him. He is our dear Teddy, Tan Kah Hern. There are quite a lot of stories between Teddy and I. He is the great senior that I have met in UM. He did a lot for CC members in our college, maybe no one knows much about his contribution, but I am aware and acknowledge every single things he has done for us and even for me. Without him, I don't think that I could be a spidey today. I would be still that unstable and playful, don't know how to behave and how to be a better leader. He didn't teach me much, but the decision he led me to make really mold me into someone that I have never expected I could be today. Thank God for letting me to meet him, though he doesn't agree with my conviction sometimes about Christianity, but I still love him very much. Never get angry of his offensive talk, just feel sad instead sometimes. But this feeling didn't last long as I know he has no intention to hurt me. He did quite a good job to take care some juniors personally while I failed to do to the level he could manage to give. Luckily that night, I took a photo with him already~ otherwise I would be regret extremely.
Here we go, they are the reasons that I found my mandeta was very different compared to previous one. I appreciate this kind of special feeling, it will get more intensive for the next year I think. :)
However, I found this event meant a lot this time. Perhaps, it's like a signal telling me that I am at the stage of letting go of my position to juniors. The feeling of proud got extremely intensive especially when i was lining up with other JTK members before going up to get our award. It is nothing proud to be given the award, because it is something that is temporary praise and compliment. The reason for me to feel proud of myself is that I didn't feel regret of choosing this path of serving my own college and even CC members that I care for much. I thank God for teaching me how to serve without expecting any so-called worldly prize and award during this year of study. I just felt really happy of this achievement that I knew it's hard to be accomplished. Deep inside my heart, I found no sorrow, though I knew I sacrificed a lot of stuffs unnecessarily.
Hanafi turned to me and asked me whether I think he has done a very good job before he got up to take his own award from Master. I just told him:" Brother, maybe we didn't make it a very good job, but I believe that we have strove to fulfill our duty and I think you have given the best to us, so just feel proud of yourself." I said it honestly to him, as I really found that he has been so much dedicated and helpful throughout the time of being JTK. Meanwhile, I examined myself before I got to the stage, I knew that I have neglected somebody in CC and I felt very sorry of that. Just hope that they are able to forgive my helplessness and weakness for being an imperfect person.
This MANDATE, I experienced special feeling when I was taking photos with my seniors. One of the seniors whose name is Pamela is the final year senior. She came to me politely and happily, asked me to take photo with her. She said :" Chyi Chun, let's take a photo. This is the last time already." I found slight sorrow in the last sentence. I replied:" Ya! Sure!". We have never shared a common story in our lives, but just got the feeling of loss. We used to have short chat sometimes, when we met in cafeteria. She looked really beautiful that night~
Here we go, they are the reasons that I found my mandeta was very different compared to previous one. I appreciate this kind of special feeling, it will get more intensive for the next year I think. :)
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
508 - 1758
Cop: Hey, why are you wearing black and where are you going now?
MIB: Sir, I am going to attend a funeral, as one of my friends was dead.
Cop: What is the name of your friend?
MIB: Democracy, Sir.
After the dirty election, the result disappointed millions of people. One of the reasons is that the parties they prefer were lost, and another reason is that they didn't have the reason to accept those disappointing results as the election itself was not reliable. I am not sure whether the so-called black out magic was real or not, but I just believe that they allowed many unusual and unreasonable thing to happen during our election which are really intolerable. What else we can do instead of being doubtful of the election result?! They allowed the international voters to involve and determine our country's fate, allowed black out ( if it did occur), allowed the soul voters to pop out halfway while their ICs were obviously flawed. Besides that, they insult our intelligent by expecting us to keep silent even though the whole Malaysia knew that there must be something wrong with the process of the election. Since the election was not proved to be fair and was not protecting people's right, honoring our Democracy, people proclaimed that Democracy of Malaysia has been dead.
I believe that today the number of highly educated people increase with the great number with the increasing of the people and the education level. Previously, people didn't know their own people right, and the responsibility of government. But now they realized, they know a lot of things about their right and the truth. 505 was the time to let the people choose what they want and eliminated what they don't want!! However, the right of the people once again was being violated! We could not just accept the result silently, because the people has been silent for a long period and endured things by harboring the wrath inside their hearts. The people was not really pissed up until he blamed the result of the election on Chinese Tsunami! I was scared that 513 might happen once again, if the sensitive racial issue has been brought on the table of the society. What an irresponsible blame that may cause thousand lives to lose in vain?! Didn't he know that people are flesh and with soul?! It was too evil, to drive a wedge between the people by raising racial issue in this very moment! However, I thank God that the people somehow united to protect each other instead of accusing among themselves. It turned out to be Malaysian Tsunami instead of Chinese Tsunami. They want to revive Democracy, attract the attraction of other countries, want to press the government to do something for that! Hence, Black Protest was raised last night and million of people turn out and hundred of cars halfway joining the Protest!! It became the headline today on the newspaper!!
I am proud of being a Penangites originally, as the people there know how to appreciate the capable and respected CM. But now I would like to say that I am glad to be Malaysian, as we finally gathered and united as one. Instead of saying I am a Penangite, I would consider to change my reply by saying I am a Malaysian!!
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