"Brother, why are you so down? Say something leh~", it is what I used to hear when I was trying to be a quiet and good listener in a group as I am aware that many people don't have much chances to be known and heard.The situation used to be silent and awkward somehow when I keep silent and being inactive on finding the topics. I hardly failed to build a nice and comfortable atmosphere during any outing, unless I was handling my own emotions and thoughts. However, personally I find this task not as a duty, but an enjoyment to be accomplished willingly, because I hope that people getting along with me can be happy after all.
But recently in the gang that I used to mingle around, I started to be very inactive. I don't think it is a bad thing because maybe it is the time for me to be a mere listener and wondering who could take over my job that I used to fulfill. I know that one of my weaknesses is to be very talkative and excessively active on discussing certain topics while other people seem to be neglected, having the sense of being left out. I don't mean to be that dominant most of the time, it is just that sometime people don't appreciate the chance I have given. I used to be the one who asked for the opinions from somebody, but it seems to have nothing in their minds about the topics as they left me utterly awkward silence that never failed to embarrass me and the situation. I am tired of this kind of tackling unhealthy response that give no respect and concern to the questions that I asked kindly. Eventually, I don't like to control the condition, and be responsible of the atmosphere. It is not enjoyable when people are not cooperative.
People want to have a good outing that all the way we can chit chat casually nonstop. However, I found some of them like to stop people talking or pay no attention on the serious things other people shared. They are behaviors that cause meaningless interaction and unhealthy communication.
Communication never works one way, as it is in two ways which means at least one messenger delivers a message to someone, and someone gets the information correctly. Response is likely to be given if one wishes to continue the communication. If the person refuse or fail to get certain messages and respond inappropriately, proper and normal communication can never be accomplished. It sounds very serious, doesn't it? People don't realize the things sometimes. Eventually, they find it hard to better the condition of the mood in a group. They prefer to go out with people that they are familiar and comfortable with. It is a smart decision to hang out with your own gang, but your communication skills would not be well-developed.
It is troublesome indeed to take care of someone's feeling instead of our own feeling so that good mood can be built up. But selflessness can train us to be a more selfless and happy person who possess the ability to see things in different perspectives and the ability to bring happiness and concern to the people around. I hardly find someone who actually shows their concern to me by asking about my condition. Instead, I seems to be the rare one who always concern about people's condition when I met those bad faces.
In my opinion, interaction can never be healthy without concern and the sense of love. If you don't show your concern on someone in an interaction, the talk can never be meaningful and beneficial. On the other hand, interaction filled with only foolish jokes and purposeless laughter is miserable and superficial which brings vanity to our lives. You gain no respect and love, life seems to be unmotivated and words seem to be too playful and discouraging person to have more meaningful and mature talks.
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