Testing of the faith

In real life, we often face challenges especially in the midst of doing something great. I considered my life was quite peaceful without much challenges popping out halfway before I started to believe in Christ. Perhaps, there were no principles for me to follow as I was the Lord of my own. When things happened, I would just react according to my own desire and will. Life was quite easy that time.

Since I have been struggling against a lot of factors that are standing against my faith lately, I started to wonder why it seems to be too difficult to be the follower of Christ. It is inevitable to question myself that “Am I doing the wrong thing right now?” Shouldn’t God encourage people to follow him by making the path to Christ more easy and attractive? Why must there be so many challenges that dismay the believers all along the way of faith?

 I have come to know quite a number of believers in Old Testament of Bible, they were devout and God was pleased with them. But what they had often gone through were the troubles and temptations due to their faith. If I were a father of a child, I would encourage him to do goods by giving him awards and compliments. What kind of father do I believe in now? It doesn’t make sense at all. Giving all kinds of problems and temptations doesn’t seem to be possible to draw people nearer to him!

But yet I have slowly understood the reasons of all the temptations and trials. We have no right at all to gain any goods from God for whatever seemingly good deeds we have ever done, because it is our obligation to do goods ever since we were created in this world. However, the temptations and trials are come to us for exposing the ugliness in our heart, our rebellion to God. Man was created to glorify the Lord and enjoy in him for eternity. But Adam sinned against God that he showed his sinful nature, the desire to be the lord of himself. God always knows the ugly desire we have been possessing in our heart for long, for nothing can be concealed in front of him. But God brings us countless tests in order to show us our deep down sinful nature so that we would repent in him humbly.

The more challenges I faced, the more I realized I am self-centered and doomed. The more challenges I encountered, the more I discovered the greatness of my God for accepting such a self-centered wretch like me. The more tests appeared to stand against me, the more I discovered my vulnerability and helplessness. The more failures I have made when dealing with those trials, the more I discovered how significant God is to me. The more challenges I faced, the more I get to know my own unworthiness of being called to follow him. How great is our God! The words seem to be pale when they come to describe his greatness. Languages and songs turn to be useless to fully express his greatness.

Bible says, ”Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effort, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.’’  (James 1:1-4) “Not only that but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”  (Romans 5:3-5)     

God asks us to rejoice in sufferings and all kinds of trials. What can turn us down when we who are in Christ are able to rejoice in sufferings?! Certainly, we know that God is going to raise us up again after we have gone through the test. “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12) Instead of giving awards for all the goods we may do, he promised giving us the crown of life when we have stood the test.  May God bless us by strengthening us. Have mercy on us for we are weak and helpless.       

Christmas 2013

It is a Christmas day where Jesus was born in this world for the execution of salvation. It ought to be a birthday that everyone needs to remember and celebrate. The child was born for all the nations and mankind. The crucifixion was for all the sinners in the world and the blood was shed for cleansing the dirt in our souls thoroughly. It must be a greatly joyful day ever in the human history for the coming of the savior, for the salvation of the nations that no one else would be able to give us.

For this Christmas, I decided to spend it in my church at PJ for serving as an emcee for the event. Undeniably, I am not good enough as a good emcee for the event. Anyway God somehow chose me to be the one who looked after the flow of the event. It is kind of stressful thing to do for I don’t really think I could bear the consequence for upsetting the whole event. I prepared a script for that but what appeared in mind before the moment I could grab the microphone was fear. I definitely understand that it would not be a big crowd, but mistakes are strongly prohibited. I prayed sincerely for the power and wisdom from God as I really scare that I would err when I speak. Thank God for giving me peace and joy after the prayer and I managed to lead them having a good gathering.

Today, Patrick was the speaker who was assigned to preach before the guests. He seldom talked about Bible this time as I think he understands that it is quite troublesome for the new comers to search the scriptures with the bible. It would be more pleasant for them to just listen all along the way. He talked about the ultimate need of human and the nature of human for seeking the real God. It is very true that the purpose of Christ being born was to fulfill the need of the human which is getting free from the bondage of sin and the desire of human to reach God for real joy.

We are doomed since the outset of the human history that our ancients Adam and Eve who sinned against God. From that time, we have been restricted by the bondage of sin that we are no longer able to do anything good; we are separated by the glory of God that we are not able to get the real peace and joy. The holiness of life isn’t what we manage to have or seek to have. But God is a gracious God who sent his son to us, through the bloody cross he saved us by bringing us from the wrath of his justice into the love of his grace. What kind of sacrifice was that? We did nothing but he has done everything for us. What we do is only to give response accordingly.

Our God is a unique God that is totally different from other gods that people would imagine. He came here and was born in a dirty trough. This way of being born indicated that God is a God of great humility. He did not come to receive but to give. He sacrificed on the cross without blaming anyone for doing all these things. He died in vain and rose again for us. He overcame the death and with him we are saved. However, what he received from us in return was the crucifixion, the humiliation, the torture and the curse. We have no right at all to gain anything good. We haven’t done anything good but good in committing sins and transgressions against him. It is really an amazing grace that the world needs to know and I believe the aftermath for missing the grace of God would be very terrible.

Wish all my friends having a blessed and memorable Christmas. Wish you guys really get something through what I have shared. God bless you always.         

Baptism

Today was a special day. In my church, we had a baptism for a brother and a sister. I have watched quite a number of people getting baptized but this was the second time. The first time was the baptism conducted in my hometown many years ago, many peers were getting baptized. That time, I was wondering when it would be my turn to get baptized. But I didn't think that I would be allowed. I didn't think that it would be a good idea for me to get baptized as I would be in a big trouble if I do so. 

Baptism is always a joyful Christian ceremony as it indicates that an individual is adopted as the children of God in Christ, a soul is saved due to the grace of God. I felt joyful for both of them officially proclaimed themselves to be a baptized Christian. They were having baptism class with me all along the way and we finished the class successfully. However, I failed to join them in the ceremony; I could only be their witness unfortunately.

When singing praises before the ceremony, the sorrow and the sadness in my heart somehow was being intensive gradually. I know I shouldn’t have the feeling of being left behind, but I did feel so. It was really upsetting for being a witness while I was supposed to be baptized. The assembly was worshiping the Lord wholeheartedly, while my eyes were getting blurred by tears and my voice was getting rough due to the crying of my heart. The struggle to stop the tears from weeping was really suffering.

When they were sharing on the stage about the past and how they have come to believe in Christ and get baptized finally, I was thinking of my sharing in the future. My mind was ridiculously wandering away and led to the recalling of my past. The recalling of my past did touch my heart once again for I recalled the reality of God in my life with countless of testimonies and experiences. I believe that God called me to believe and live for him, but somehow payment and sacrifice is inevitable. My path of faith isn’t that smooth as I can’t anyhow just get in the water and get myself baptized like how they did today.

Sometimes I would ask myself, is it necessary to go through all these for being a Christian? Is there no other easy way to reach God after all? “Whoever doesn’t bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple”, Jesus said in the Bible. Apparently, it is not going to be easy at all to bear a cross and follow Jesus. The elder in my Church told me that my cross may be much bigger than others. If it is meant to be such a challenging path I would need to go through for being a disciple, please help me to do so.     

For His Glory

Early in the silent morning, I can clearly hear the sound of the spinning fan on the ceiling. The quietness is appreciable and expected as no one is in the room but me. My roommates have gone home- the sweet nest where they find the most comforting. I just wish them to have nice weekends.

Recalling the things that I have done for the past few weeks, I felt satisfied not for the result that I have gained, but the effort that I have put in everything I was doing. I tried to build up the team to fasten their growth as fast as possible before SUKMUM competition came. We managed to beat the first two colleges with pride and that was sufficiently good to me and out of my expectation actually. Our team does not have a strong and tough physique individually, but we manage to beat the so-called big-man team with a lot of challenges. It is sort of miraculous thing to see such a victory.

For the competition with KK5, I felt upset that we couldn't beat them for the last quarter. I felt very frustrated that the victory was just slipped away from me due to our poor stamina. I never believe that we were able to keep leading in score for the first three quarters. We were defeated by them shamefully in the friendly match but somehow we made them ashamed for the first three quarters’ amazing play. I believe that the loss of the friendly match last time made our team to fear the team of KK5 and for that we barely allowed ourselves to underestimate their team. On the other hand, I would believe that due to the triumph, they allowed themselves to be a lit bit over-confident and eventually underestimate our team. This might be the reason why the match was totally different from the friendly match we had.

Anyway, we lost the game eventually. In the last quarter, our first five didn't possess a clear mind for game analysis due to the poor body condition. We refused to take rest outside the court as we couldn't bear the consequence of letting other players into the game. The opponents brought their second five into the court and deliberately reduced our stamina successfully. It was saddening to see the scores getting closer but incapable to keep the gap. It was helpless to see the opportunity of scoring being wasted as the eyes were blurred and the focus was lost due to the exhausted body. It was really speechless to admit that we are not ready for the victory as we are not good enough. Five players can hardly defeat ten players in a game. We have reached our limit by endeavoring to give a strong fight.

When I was about to leave the gymnasium, an Indian guy was passing by my side and I smiled to him for my instinctive kindness. He thought that I was about to have a match later, and then he asked:” Game later?”. “No, I lost the game.” I replied and smiled. He said:” Oh I see~”. “But I won the pride!” I replied with pride and satisfaction. “Good!” was the word he ended the short conversation. Sometimes, the victory doesn’t bring you any goods, if the victory failed to bring you the glory you are looking for and the satisfaction that you always desire. For his glory, I will come back strong next year. Watch out!!               

I won't give up!

Finally I am back to write something in order to express something over here. Busyness is my close friend lately, while enthusiast is my identity recently. The feelings such as tired, exhaust and spent become my pillow every night, but content and satisfaction become my precious property every day.

I just finished a basketball ball training after the last training which was conducted last Thursday. Since KK 11 doesn’t have enough court for the athletes to use for training, many sports are forced to share a couple of courts. We are definitely helpless of this situation, as we do not have enough space for making more courts to satisfy the demand of athletes. Anyway, I believe that we can still carry our physical training without a court as long as we have the desire for improvement.

Our college basketball team has been the championship in SUKMUM for three years successively. I was blessed to enjoy the championship for two years out of three. But I have never admitted that the championship doesn’t belong to me, as I don’t think I was really accountable for that. This year, 8 seniors left after graduation, they left only three players in our college. It set me into a trouble now, as I need to rebuild the team. I found that this is not an easy task for me to build them up, unless they wanted to improve very badly. That is why people said that it is difficult to force a cow to drink if it doesn’t want to drink at all.

I am a person who strives to give the best in everything that I choose to do. I don’t think that I can be the best among the best, but I always push myself to get the best of myself. It is fair enough to compete myself with the man I was yesterday. I believe this kind of motive can drive me forward nonstop. Therefore, I like to get along with the people who possess the same principle like me, as I choose to get emerged into this environment in order to get myself inspired often. On the other hand, I would feel dismayed if the people around me find self-improvement or the pursuit of achievement indifferent to them. People like that are mostly unmotivated and dismaying to other people. They don’t help people to grow as they don’t know the significance of growth.

In my basketball team of my college, I feel sorry that I didn’t manage to spend time with the team. I tried my best to initiate training as much as possible so that they would have to come down to get their muscles stressed and grown. I failed to make more as I have some other commitments that I would have to give. However, I encouraged them to have training on their own instead of waiting for my call. I just hope that they can do something for the team or may be for my desire to have a good fight with them in SUKMUM. But most of them do not have any personal training and I found that was understandable meanwhile upsetting.

The whole world is waiting to beat our college basketball team this year; the whole world is getting ready to defeat us aggressively. I heard that the teams who got insulted for being defeated by our team last year are going to revenge this year. Everyone is looking forward to meet us in the match. I am not afraid at all, but I feel sad that the whole world knows that my team is no longer threatening to them. It is such a humiliation to me that the opponents don’t find my team threatening at all. My roommates joked and asked me not to get into the battle so that I am not accountable for the loss. I replied that I would never escape the battle, it was sad that the victory did not belong to me, it would be worse if the loss doesn’t belong to me this year.

I wanted to prove that people need to defeat us with sweats and pains. I wanted to prove that expectation to defeat us at ease is laughable. I wanted to prove that the new men can defeat you guys next year. But I realized that I have nothing much to prove this year, as we may not be able to survive for any longer in SUKMUM. It is not me who loses hope in my tea, it is the situation that stops myself for being a dreamer who naively dreams for a championship this year. However, this year I think I am really accountable for everything that may happen to my team, as I am the manager of the team who was troubled to get the team well managed, and get the jersey order done at last minute. I am also the Captain of the team who called them to have trainings throughout this season; I am also the player who tries to train himself to be a better player with better performance.

God set me into this situation. He knows my pride is going to turn me down. He knows me very much more than how much I understand my own self. This year, in CC, I am no longer authoritative and influential.  There are many things that I would like to better but there is no ways for me to help. Somehow I know that I won’t let go, but consciously I know that I shouldn’t do anything for that. I believe I need to learn how to accept with an open heart. I need to humble down as a servant and stop trying to satisfy my self-centeredness by doing anything. Anyway, I would pray for my team, I won't give up on them as God never forsakes me.       

       

Fighting!

It has been a really long while since the last post I wrote. I do not feel guilty at all, for not the laziness that caused the long silence but the busyness. haha!

Anyway, my days have been quite bustling meanwhile meaningful. I have been trying not to waste my time by doing nothing but to fully utilize every minutes of my time. Hopefully I am doing it right. I have been in this so-called highly efficient life style for about two months since the very beginning of my 5th semester. Honestly, it is really a spiritually tiring and kind of challenging thing to do. Too many things you wish to do, but yet time seems to be uncooperative by being insufficient. Besides that, my stamina and spirit for each day don't seem to be strong enough to satisfy my will. I have been pushing myself as much as I manage to. Eventually, I realized that this kind of effort is required to be maintained for a long period of time before it can give something great in return for you. Of course, people say learning isn't an achievement, but a whole-life effort for great triumphs. For having this awareness, humility and patience is very crucial for a good learner in every aspect. I shall pray for the patience and guidance!  

No one force me to make such a change. Besides, it is not merely the change of behavior, but also the revolution in my attitude and mindset that has been slowly taken place. Haha! Doesn't it sound incredible? I am not trying to convince anyone how special I have gradually become. I am just trying to express whatever I feel like to express. Please do not think that I am very special now. I wish that I am still the same happy boy that you guys like. Anyway, after all I am still very humorous and friendly in a way that some girls find me disgusting. hahaha!! (I don't care) But one day, if I talk with you guys with serious matters and informative messages, please do not be afraid of shocked. I am humorous but that doesn't mean that I can no longer get serious. These two seemingly opposite manner can actually coexist naturally, in fact they don't really conflict with one another. Lord is a loving God but at the same time a righteous God. There is no wrong at all for being loving and righteous at the same time.  

Some guys may think that I have been brainwashed by so-called Amway for having this kind of change. I wish that no one will think of me that way of course. Instead of thinking that way, I would rather you guys think that this is the way that God wanted to mold me. The awareness of cherishing my study time was aroused by the elders in my church. They get to know Christianity very well and even some can be considered a great teacher of theologies as they attended quite a number of intensive theology lessons. They have taught me many great things and honestly they are good Christian models for me. They made me started pondering of what kind of guy I want to be in the future. Christians are not escapists instead we are supposed to be the most practical person since we need to obey the commandments in the Bible with love and a submissive spirit. They encourage me to get myself well prepared before it is too late.

I have come to believe that the world-views may violate the truths in our heart easily if we do not provide our soul a strong shield. We may fall down in faith embarrassingly and easily if we do not get God's truth firmly rooted in our heart. If we do not equip ourselves with the word of God, we may be trembling in fear when we find nothing to help us against the demons. (Lantern) If we are not able to burn the papers that wrap and cover our appearance, how are we able to shine bright among the people in order to let them see us? If we are always in the state of self-protecting and escaping from unrighteousness, when are we going to fight back boldly with truth. Therefore, I decided to seek for knowledge and wisdom of God instead of waiting for someone to help me up.

Bible says: Those who seek shall find. Those who knocks shall be answered. Hence, I have been trying my best to learn as much as possible about the theologies in The Bible. Of course, I had been struggling during the way I was trying to complete the assignment of The Study of Theologies while I needed to handle other matters such as Basketball Training, Academical matters and so on. I didn't wish to tell anyone that I put the theology to be my top priority for that moment. It may seem to be a very ridiculous thing to do while it was a very reasonable and smart decision to me. Anyway, I just don't want to let other people feeling that I am extreme and a bad university student who doesn't know how to put priority appropriately. Although I am pretty sure of what I was doing but it doesn't mean that other people would understand me. It is a great thing for me to study theology and have the chance to know about the great covenant of God. Anyway, despite other perspectives, it is really enjoyable learning  as far as I concern.  
   
I would like to give thanks to God with the greatest gratitude of mine for the Lord never forsakes me. hahaha! People may find me unhappy lately and conclude that I am not happy all along the way. I am grateful of the concern they have towards me, I am glad to be concerned. However, I would like to make clarification over here. I am happy for having my life with this kind of pace right now. But as what I said, it is really exhausting in terms of spirit and physique. However, I was joyful especially when I was studying the extremely thick theology book. The thickness of the book turned me crazy, but the prosperous teachings in the book made me excited. Truly I am happy with that, it is just no one is able to witness that shining grin! In Amway meeting, I have learned a lot of beneficial health information and how the products are able to deal with the problems. Honestly, health knowledge is really significant nowadays. It is definitely enjoyable for me to learn all that!

As a conclusion, I hope every friends of mine can get a clearer image about myself recently. I am fine, and do not waste your time worrying about me. haha!! Anyway, I will keep moving on until the day I surrender. But I wish the day will never come, for this is my will to run the race energetically. May God bless me!!    

Loyalty

Recently, I have heard quite a number of bad news. Some of my friends just broke up with their girl friends lately. I felt upset for everything they faced and felt sorry for not being able to be there for them when they were in need. Many times I have been thrown with the same question by girls asking for the reasons why guys are so fickle and often the factor that ruins everything. It seems like guys used to be the destroyer of relationship. I found that theory unacceptable actually, for girls may be the one who give up halfway easily. 

One of my friends has encountered this kind of problem. His girl friend who had been in a relationship with him for quite a number of years gave up maintaining their relationship. Out of sudden, she requested my friend to stop their relationship for no clear and valid reasons. Since my friend loves her so much, he had tried very hard to do all sorts of things to motivate her and get her touched by his sincerity. After all the effort, she stopped her request but she turned to be passive and cold somehow. My friend realized that the relationship doesn't work out at all with this kind of coolness and passiveness. He ended up letting the girl go. 

They used to be fine but just apart from each other for a long time. I heard that the girl is having internship and having another new group of friends when working. Eventually, she broke up with my friend that week and got into a brand-new relationship with another guy the next following week. She made a choice and so did my friend. I couldn't tell how painful my friend is feeling right now. I couldn't tell how much blood his heart bled. I couldn't tell how long he would take to raise from sorrow. But gratefully one important thing he realized is that he still has a lot of brothers who he seldom keeps in touch. He wants to get back all the friends and cherished each and everyone of them. I believe he will be fine very soon.

What is so crucial in securing a relationship? I have come to learn that loyalty somehow acts like an essential protection for a relationship. It is like the enclosure that protects a country and the fence that protects a group of sheep. With that protection, outsiders will never be able to violate your relationship unless there is no loyalty. Without loyalty, people will not stay tune within their safety zone, they will have the tendency to leave their country and immigrant to another country for they don't live for loyalty but personal benefit. That's why girls seldom demand for the capability of a man, but the loyalty of him towards the relationship.   

There are sayings that picking up partner is like choosing a chicken in a morning market. People would like to search for a better chicken rather than appreciating the chicken on their hands. With this kind of theory, many people tend to give up the so-called old relationship, and get into a new relationship with a freshman as we know that the freshman somehow looks better and nicer to us. Unwittingly, it would become a cycle. They would like to give a try with a new person rather than putting effort to refresh the on-going relationship patiently. However, when the new person started to be no longer new after a long time in a relationship, it would be a high probability for the person to dump the 'going-to-be-old' person. With this kind of principle, he or she will never be able to settle down in any relationship. They would be like a rat race, running without moving, like an unproductive tree, growing but incapable of bearing fruit.         

Fever

Moment of suffering (3 days ago)

Feeling cold now. I have never fallen sick seriously from the very beginning of this semester until today I officially got a fever. Somehow I woke up with a warm body and all my muscles felt like very exhausted. I think I'm going to get sick but I still went to take a cold bath. Never tried, never know. The physical condition got worse consequently. 

This morning I forced myself to get to Faculty because my course mates and I planned to go to visit JKR. We need to do so in order to visit the officer there to find some information regarding our project. Throughout the process, I felt tired and weak. I can hardly walk and talk. That was organizing. 

Once we finished visitation, I rode on my bike and rushed back to my hostel. I felt really cold and weak, I know that I need to rest in order to recover. I hope I could recover faster because I will be having two classes and one lab. Haiz~ But eventually I couldn't attend anyone of them.

I felt terrible when I was lying in my bed. I tried to sweat but I failed. I slept and woke up from the first attempt of rest, my brain was terribly heavy. I felt like it was going to explode very soon. I wonder if I was near to the gate of heaven, because I was really in torment. 

Besides that, I was worrying about my brain condition. My body temperature was 36, and I scared that my brain might be damaged due to the high temperature. I didn't want to die that soon but I can't help but to lie there helplessly. I thought I could just rest and get recovered. But since I failed, I decided to take panadol to assist me recovering. 

That was a smart move. I woke up later with my body temperature near to normal. But surely I haven't got fully recovered. I still don't know why I got fever! 

 

Fighting till the end

达尔文假设生命是战场，就让我坚硬不投降

把伤痕装满手掌，把鼓声装满心脏，把歌声装满肺活量

Above is a part of the lyrics 放肆 by Mayday. The words above are really inspiring. If life is a battle, then let me be strong and never surrender. Filling up the palms with bruises, filling up the heart with drumbeat, filling up my lung with singing voice!

I have a friend who is trying to improve herself in order to be a better one. She has been stressed once she got into University; she realized that she is not really good enough. However, this year, the tension on her has been greatly increased, because the awareness of lagging behind has been magnified once after a new intake of a bunch of juniors. She found the pressure quite overwhelming and suffered for dealing with the stress.

Honestly, I am really glad to have such a friend who always works hard for self-improvement. This kind of attitude which many people don’t possess is really appreciable and valuable. With this kind of attitude, I believe she will do a great job in future unless she surrenders halfway and ceases to move on boldly. What a great reason to feel down! It is good to feel that you yourself are not good enough; it is always healthy to compare yourself with the people who are better and more remarkable than you. For that thought, you will try to improve unceasingly.  If you don’t keep on improving, your life will be like a stagnant milo without constantly stirring (unpleasant to drink).

However, she needs to know that stress comes once you get involved into a healthy competition due to comparison of yourself with better course mates. It may be the time for her to learn how to deal with the stress and how to cope with it for there are many different pressures oncoming when we work in the society. Those are much more challenging and stressful. It is smart for learning how to cope with the pressure in advance before we start to work in the harsh society of reality. In order to have a great improvement, one must be confident and trying to please himself in the process of striving for improvement. By the pleasure and the feeling of being successful, we are able to be charged and motivated.  

I realized that the worst thing in life isn’t failure. Instead, it is actually the give-up after the failure, the surrender for the challenges and the fear for the next coming failure. Nick Vujicic, a man without limbs inspired millions of people lives ordinarily like ordinary people without physical limitations. If he gave up many years ago, many people would lose the opportunity to meet such a ridiculously blessed person in the world. He never gave up and now he shines and warms his neighbors. On the other hand, a man without fighting spirit and motivation becomes paralyzed or inefficient and unproductive, as they give up improving and cease to be motivated. What I would like to say is that we must keep moving on no matter what hold us from doing so as we never know what amazing things will occur in the next step that we are about to make.                   

Make your mind clear

As usual, last night I went Bandar Baru Sri Petaling Galaxy Success Network to join the Tuesday night meeting. It is not a very formal meeting because I have not failed to laugh during the meeting over there. The people there are not that serious but ambitious and proactive. Haha! I'd like to call all of them "dreamers". Undeniably, it is really motivating and encouraging to mingle around with them every week.

Last night, there was a session of time for complimenting those who succeeded to achieve 21% last month. There are quite a number of people achieving that, one of my up-lines has achieved that!! Haha~ I am glad to know that. I could tell the excitement they were on the stage sharing about their feeling for the current accomplishment. In my opinion, they deserve the compliment over there. They didn’t cheat, didn’t lie but to diligently share the knowledge they have about the products with the surrounding people for their dreams. They must be striving till the very last minute just to fight for their future and for a better life.

It is really great to encourage one another to move forwards with strength and confidence. I was quite impressed by the way they started their speech. They gave thanks in the very first place in order to glorify their parents, and honorable up-line and express their gratitude towards every one of them. This kind of attitude is greatly appreciated and impressive to me. No much people know how to give thanks and give compliment sincerely nowadays. With that, I can tell that their up-line did really endeavor to assist them all along the way they were striving to get higher.

People said that Amway is a kind of place where people force you to be competitive by the stressful comparison with other improving networks. I would never attempt to deny the fact that the place is quite competitive. It can be really stressful to see people improving while we are still remaining the same place unless we are clearly aware of what we are up to. We are always the decision-maker in our life. No one can force us to do something that we don’t want to do unless you decide to compromise with their demand and request. By applying pressure to force you, you may be pressured and tensed up for lagging behind. But it is a great time for us to learn how to cope with the pressure due to comparison. Instead of avoiding comparison and escaping from pressure, I would rather face it and embrace it for the sake of my growth. However, what I want to imply is that the decision we make in life can be affected by many factors but that doesn't mean that we are able to deny the fact that we are accountable of them.

I pray for God’s wisdom and guidance for making my heart and mind clear of his commandments and wills. For the sake of maintaining my mind clear, I know the fear towards God is what I need the most. People are often led by their nose for the attractive profit, benefit and overriding authority, eventually they lost the purpose of their lives. May God bless the people around me by making me a really good servant of you.             

The greatest commandment

Sunday once again!! What a great weather early in the morning today! I went to church to worship as usual. Thank God that my voice has been greatly recovered, I was able to praise the Lord through worship. It is always a great time for me!

Today, we had our Bible study class as usual after worship. This time, the topic is about the greatest commandment among all the commandments.  The answer can be found in the scripture, the gospel of Mark Chapter 12:28-34 which was given by Jesus Christ himself. It says,” Hear, O Israel! Our God, your Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this,” you shall love your neighbors like yourself. There is no other commandment better than these two.”

I am curious of the reason why God reminded me for many times regarding the same scripture. I have heard a lot of preaching and sharing, they were all about this topic, the greatest commandment. I still don’t know the exact reason but I found that is definitely not a complete occasion without any purpose behind. However, during the class, I am being impressed by the interpretation of this scripture from the perspective of the speaker.

Why did God need to mention about Lord is one to his people? That is a very essential theology in Christianity that every follower in Christ ought to know. But he wants to emphasize that our God is only one, there is no other God besides the Lord. Since he is one, we shall not worship other God but to worship him alone! Besides that, he requires us to love him with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our soul and with all our strength. With all these details, actually he tries to give us a great message precisely about the correct attitude to love him.

We can never be able to love someone truly without the right understanding of love, so God gave us a guideline on how to love him truly and worship him faithfully. What is meant by “with all your heart”? God wants to rule absolutely in your heart. In order to love someone truly, you need to put him into your heart. If you want to love him completely, you need to fill your heart with him thoroughly. Without having God to rule your heart thoroughly, we are not able to love him wholeheartedly.

Apart from that, what is meant by “with all your soul”? Regarding the soul, I think that is about emotion. We need to feel something for a person in order to love him truly. We need to love God with emotions! Pray moodily, worship joyfully, serve cheerfully! It is about emotion! Many couples broke out, with a script “I have no feeling towards you now, sorry.” Haha!! So how can we love God without soul?

Besides that, what is meant by “with all your mind”? I would like to believe that God wants us to love him with understanding. We cannot love God truly unless we have a correct understanding of love. God doesn’t want us to love him without wisdom. God wants us to know that how great he is and how worthy he is through the word of Bible and the wonderful creations in the world. With all these awareness and knowledge, we are able to love him deeply! God doesn’t want us to believe in him blindly for he doesn’t want us to love him purposelessly.

Other than that, what is meant by “with all your strength”? I would like to believe that God wants us to love him with action and effort. The affection is not only expressed through words and praises but also with action and effort! Love can never be whole without actions; affection can never be assured without effort. It is like faith without action is dead!!

Never believe that there are many important messages in this wonderful scripture. Thank God for the wisdom and the grace of revealing this wonderful message! I think it is not easy to fulfill the commandment, but please do help me to fulfill that with your help!!

  

              

A nice sharing

It is great to gather with the Christians once again in this Friday afternoon. I thank God that Dr. Living Lee came today for sharing some precious things with us. He is also an Alumni of PKV and formal advisor of PKV today. It is really great to have him as a special speaker. The first ever thing that he said in his sharing, he said:” Christianity is not about rules and regulations. Instead of that, it is all about relationship with God.” The greatest commandment that Jesus told us in the Bible is that “’you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

He told us a lot of things. There were too many until I didn’t manage to remember every single thing he shared. However, there were some really impressive things he did share with us. He was talking about one of the commandments in the Bible regarding the order to keep the Sabbath day. He does keep the commandment in his daily life; he doesn’t work during the day, but spends his Sunday for relaxation or some relaxing activities. He didn’t tell us how he suffered for making his Sunday a relaxing day. Instead, he told us that he found the rest of the days very exciting. He fully uses the rest of the time for the six days for his work. He found that really a blessing commandment for us to obey. I am still wondering whether I can do as best as he manages to. But I do really want to give it a shot and see how God is going to bless me if I do so. Anyway, I got really excited by that particular sharing and motivated to obey the commandment.

Besides that, he told us to put God the priority. If we do prioritize him the first ever in our priority, he promises that he will bless us and other things he will add to us through blessing. I wonder how many people could manage to accept and believe that. Apparently, that is not really down-to-earth practice. But as far as I’m concerned, I believe that is really true. It is about stewardship that brings impacts to people unwittingly without looking for benefits and rewards deliberately.  Anyway, I am aware that I am not good enough. May God bless me by using me and helping me to be a good servant!

    

To move on once again

Once again, it is a special day. I thank God for giving me the chance to be a good listener for some of my friends. They shared with me their sorrow and struggle, I cannot fully understand but to lend my eyes for them. My life wasn’t that smooth of course, with a lot of challenges, problems and troubles as well. That’s why I am still able to sympathize with them.

No one in the world can be totally dependent, because there are a lot of things that you cannot do alone. Besides that, God created two humans in the very beginning, because he said:" It is no good for him to be alone." God created Eve as a helper of Adam. Helper for what? For allowing both of them having target to love!! Because everything can become whole only if men after the image of God are able to love each other and manifest God lovely nature to the world! What an amazing purpose of God for creating man and woman! Therefore, it is really despair to live without love.

Many people choose to suicide when they feel very pressured and stressed. The problems are magnified unnecessarily by their fear and making the problems apparently overwhelming. Why do people choose to suicide when they all know that suicide is not a practical solution? What make them giving up their precious life? It is heart-bleeding that many people don’t cherish their life. They should know that their life can leave a positive impact to the world; they can enjoy the life in God for eternity!

One of my friends is having problem in her relationship. The guy left her to another girl. But thank God that she is trying to seek for comfort in God even though she is still very sad. It is not that easy to face the fact and forgive the guy that left her, so time is needed for it to get better. But that’s what I told the girl, “The guy has made the decision to leave you, you need to make the decision is either to face it and move on, or to be influenced by him forever.” It is upset to know that he is not there for you, but good to know that he does not love you truly. It is a let-down for having a broken relationship, but it is also a blessing to stop that relationship in advance if it is not meant to be forever.

I asked the girl not to be depressed, because he is the one who missed such a wonderful girl like you. He doesn’t see the invisible thing inside you that is called “love”, he has slipped away with you unfortunately. Be confident that you are great enough and deserve somebody else to cherish you and be hopeful that God has someone who is great in store for you. Being single forever is the blessing of God for minority, if you don’t have that kind of blessing; you will meet the right one in your future.

I know it is difficult to admit the fact that you are the one who was dumb. However, it is okay to cry out aloud like a kid making people knowing that we need comfort, it is okay to express your hopelessness and sorrow at night so that no one will know, it is also okay to admit that you are such a failure in your relationship with the guy, because that was not the first time we failed. It is alright after all. Anyway, it is always beneficial to be honest to yourself instead of being ignorant. Ignorance can keep you from learning and growing even if you have uncountable experiences and lessons of life. Unless you are able to accept your own self by being honest to yourself, otherwise you will never be able to make other people accepting you.

What is wrong to show your tears? What is good to hide your tears? If you don’t cry openly, who is able to take the opportunity to dry your eyes? If you don’t share your problem, who is able to make you better by telling you some worse experience to you? Sometimes, we just need a pair of ears or some worse stories to make us feeling that we are not alone. Sometimes, we just don’t need much solution; but the words of encouragement to make us confident and inspired in order to move on once again.                  

Determined

There was a girl telling me that she had a nightmare one day. In her dream, she saw me leaving out of her life. She didn’t tell me the detail and I didn’t ask for that as well. However, she shared with me about how he felt for the dream I was very sorry to be helpless about the insecurity I gave to her that time. At that time, I was wondering if the nightmare would happen to come true at last. I do not believe that the dreams at night will come true. But what happens about us now? We are no longer keeping in touch with each other that often. Nonetheless, our lives still go on ordinarily as usual.

Little by little, I have come to realize that the dream that time wasn’t something like a prophecy. That was not a prophecy predicting the oncoming problem. Instead of that, I choose to believe that was just a phenomenon caused by her worries and the feeling of insecurity. Being worried and insecure caused her to have that kind of nightmare. I am really glad that she was trying to appreciate me, but it was just saddening for the failure of helping her to gain faith. But thank God, I think she has a great life now!

What if I have a nightmare like hers? LOL! A nightmare that seems to tell me that I’m going to fail to secure something previous to me? What am I going to do with that kind of dismaying nightmare? I am actually feeling sick of the attempt to interpret the meaning behind the dream. It is getting me despondent immediately. However, I don’t want to deny..deny that I really scare to fail to secure that. I know that in order to face the insecurity, I need to be honest to myself and admit the fear in me. I am not able to do anything to help for that, because I’m just a human with many limitations.

Sincerely pray for wisdom, courage, faith and patience, because I know that I can collapse anytime without anyone of them. Please help me to be humble, so that I won’t take anything on my shoulders unnecessarily. Please help me to be submissive, so that I won’t walk with my own will but your will. Please help me to be faithful, so that I won’t be diffident and consequently showing my ugly negativity. Amen!! 

I felt good!

That was a good day which I was too smart to spend it with my friend Kevin. I stayed at his house for a night and I had a great time with him and his siblings when playing basketball. We played for about 2 and a half hours which was long enough to exhaust me. But I did enjoy all along the way. There are something that I would like to share over here. Those were really something special.

When we were playing ball, I noticed a huge man staying silently beside the court, sitting on a familiar motorcycle and watching us playing basketball calmly. That was their honorable father. I was amazed that his father had stayed there for a long while just to watch them enjoying playing in the games. Apparently he didn't participate in the game, but he involved himself by being a silent audience along the way. I felt happy on behalf of his children, because it is good to have a father getting involved in that way. His presence somehow raised their happiness to a greater extent that they may not perceive. I can tell that their father has involved himself as much as he managed to.

Some people may not appreciate the presence of their parents in that situation for some reasons. But I do really wish that my parents could be with me and witnessed the achievement that I have been trying to achieve for the sake of their pride and glory especially at the moment I received. the honor on the stage. But sadly I think they have underestimated their companion to me. What to do~

Besides that, I realized I am able to get close with kids easily as I'm capable to communicate with them hilariously. I had a lot of fun especially when playing around with his youngest brother. I found myself being honored when I was teaching him how to perform a layup properly. It indicated that you are someone people would like to learn from. The feeling is really awesome. I like kids, because they give praise to you when they really feel like to compliment you. They are really expressive in a very frank way and pleasure-givers to the persons they admire most of the time. hahaha~ as a conclusion, I did feel good~

Not that easy though 5

This is the feeling and thought that I had once I reached my territory.

I back to my college prematurely for some funny reasons that I don't want to mention. After the passionate uncle dropped me over there, I realized that no one was going to entertain me but myself. What does it mean? Yupe, originally I'm not supposed to be in UM that early because there is no entrance for outsiders except for the freshies. I think I'm not as strange as the outsider they mentioned but the way they regard me is just opposite of mine. What to do? I'm no longer somebody in the college. If I were somebody to them, all the identities should need to add an 'ex' in front of the names anyway.

Somehow it is saddening that I need to humble myself and ask for help from juniors. I'm the one who giving countless helps last year, but that is no longer the same this year. Since I don't have a certain level of authority anymore, I may not be that helpful right now. At the same time, i'm not able to involve ourselves in certain places, anymore because our time has passed, the juniors should be given chances to learn and they are supposed to take over out place.

Kevin, my best friend who is in my situation sympathized with me greatly. We know that we are no longer consequential in our college, and helpless that we should learn how to be humble and stay low profile from now onward in order to avoid overshadowing somebody else. I thank God that i'm not the only one who felt being isolated slightly . At least I got him as my companion.

It is funny to see that juniors have their own pm names to be called by the freshies while our pm names are no longer worth to be remembered. I saw them calling che jin woody, but no one there know that I'm spidey. It is happy to see that the freshies will not trouble us to help when they are in need, but sad that we don't seem to have the power to help them anymore even if we may want to offer our helping hands to them voluntarily.

Thank God that I have been given the chance to coach them though I know I'm not relaly qualified actually. It is great to get to know them early. But whne coaching, I didn't introduce myself at all in advance, because I think taht they don't have the need to know me. what a stupendous misery it is!! I'm not here to just to sound off like a kid, but to express the deepest helplessness of mine. It is not easy to stay humble~ never mind brother, we learn together gradually!!

humble~~Three four!
Humbleeee~ Humbleeee~~
Now we need to be humble~~~~ x2

Not that easy though 4

It is really not easy for somebody to keep trying to get out of their comfort zone. I am blessed to realize that getting out of comfort zone can help someone to grow. Therefore, I decided not to stay within my comfort zone longer. For that decision, I have met many interesting friends every time I tried to reach to another unfamiliar zone. The ability for me to adapt myself into a new environment has been sharpened gradually throughout my life.

Getting into Amway meeting every Tuesday night is one of the efforts I am trying to make in order to step out of my comfort zone. They are all kinds of people over there such as businessman, salesman, office workers, professional and so on. The people are generally friendly and funny. They like to talk, just like me. Some are really attractive and humorous speakers that I would like to learn from. I am new over there, they just need to know my name, but I need to get to remember all of their names in order not to feel awkward. It takes time and some effort to do so. But generally, I enjoy being there so far.

Being active in PKV Persaudaraan Kristian Varsity is another effort that I am trying to make in order to step out of my comfort zone. Over here, we are one, because God has adopted us into this one big family. Worshipping together with the people there and interacting with the Christians are really enjoyable to me. Getting to know new faces can make me get excited but I always remind myself not to be a touch-and-go friend to them. My brain seldom stops working during the meeting. It is nice to talk about faith and God over there, because I don’t have many Christian friends actually. Besides that, it is quite a good training for me to learn speaking in English. I think I am doing well so far, but of course a lot of space for improvement. However, I try to remind myself not to be a nervous fast talker, but to be a charismatic speaker who delivers messages effectively and clearly. It takes time to learn and requires patience to learn unceasingly. I am going to be great!! May God bless me because it is not easy!!        

Not that easy though 3

Recently, I read something about sanctification. That takes a long process to sanctify someone who is adopted by God. No!! It is a whole life process actually. The theory is almost the same like the process of recovering of a patient. It takes time for the patient to get slowly recovered after an operation or a treatment until he gets fully recovered. Some say, friendship is like a book, it takes years to write it, but take a few second to burn it.

It’s second study week! But that is definitely not an ordinary one. Something happened within these few days. I heard that my juniors were being scolded by the seniors last few days ago. I was shocked when I was informed of that. I just found that reason of scolding them is quite unacceptable and insensible. Having a weak bond with your direct buddy in buddy system is not a bad thing actually. That is just not a good thing of course. However, it is personal will for someone to decide whether they want to do anything to better the bond of their buddy line. Besides that, it is both way cooperating to make it better effectively instead of one way alone.

I don’t find a good reason to rebuke them, because they are innocent after all. Meanwhile none of the juniors have offended or disrespected me before, so I don’t really have much comment on them. I understand the purpose for the seniors scolding the juniors is to remind them not to take the seniors for granted. However, we must understand that no one wanted to make the situation worse; just they don’t know how to better it. They may think that seniors have the duty to take care of the juniors, and juniors have the obligation to approach seniors automatically. If both of us don’t try to humble ourselves by putting aside the stupid pride in order to shorten the gab, consequently there are no ways we can get closer with each other.

In order to improve the relationship, honesty is very crucial. If you don’t feel like getting to know your friends, without honesty you will never be welcome even if you approach them initiatively. The honesty is required to be apparent so that people may be pleased because they know someone is interested to know them. Apart from that, effect to show your caring is also very significant. Honesty without effect is dead while effect without honesty is the work of hypocrites. With effect shown, people will realize your caring action and appreciate your kindness and gradually feel good to be with you.

Most of the course-mates refuse to open the door of their hearts to one another. However, they expect other people to open door for them. Thing will never work it that way. As what I say always being with people is like facing a mirror. If you smile, they will smile as return. If you run away from the mirror, no reflection will be found at last. Giving sincere compliments to your friends is to value your friends accordingly because we want people to acknowledge us as well. Giving attention to your friends is to make them feeling consequential, because no one is willing to be nobody.  

          

 Recently, I read something about sanctification. That takes a long process to sanctify someone who is adopted by God. No!! It is a whole life process actually. The theory is almost the same like the process of recovering of a patient. It takes time for the patient to get slowly recovered after an operation or a treatment until he gets fully recovered. Some say, friendship is like a book, it takes years to write it, but take a few second to burn it.

It’s second study week! But that is definitely not an ordinary one. Something happened within these few days. I heard that my juniors were being scolded by the seniors last few days ago. I was shocked when I was informed of that. I just found that reason of scolding them is quite unacceptable and insensible. Having a weak bond with your direct buddy in buddy system isn’t a bad thing actually. That is just not a good thing of course. However, it is personal will for someone to decide whether they want to do anything to better the bond of their buddy line. Besides that, it is both way cooperating to make it better effectively instead of one way alone.

I don’t find a good reason to rebuke them, because they are innocent after all. Meanwhile none of the juniors have offended or disrespected me before, so I don’t really have much comment on them. I understand the purpose for the seniors scolding the juniors is to remind them not to take the seniors for granted. However, we must understand that no one wanted to make the situation worse; just they don’t know how to better it. They may think that seniors have the duty to take care of the juniors, and juniors have the obligation to approach seniors automatically. If both of us don’t try to humble ourselves by putting aside the stupid pride in order to shorten the gab, consequently there are no ways we can get closer with each other.

In order to improve the relationship, honesty is very crucial. If you don’t feel like getting to know your friends, without honesty you will never be welcome even if you approach them. The honesty is required to be apparent so that people may be pleased because they know someone is interested to know them. Apart from that, effect to show your caring is also very significant. Honesty without effect is dead while effect without honesty is the work of hypocrites. With effect shown, people will realize your caring action and appreciate your kindness and gradually feel good to be with you.

Most of the course-mates refuse to open the door of their hearts to one another. However, they expect other people to open door for them. Thing will never work it that way. As what I say always being with people is like facing a mirror. If you smile, they will smile as return. If you run away from the mirror, no reflection will be found at last. Giving sincere compliments to your friends is to value your friends accordingly because we want people to acknowledge us as well. Giving attention to your friends is to make them feeling consequential, because no one is willing to be nobody.            

Not that easy though 2

I wonder how long I can be free like now until I can spend time writing out my thought over here. I just read one of the topics in The Westminster Shorter Catechism last night. That is about sanctification. Now I am reading one of the articles in The Bridge, I got something about sanctification as well.

It is interesting to know that Bible does mention about bodily training. In 1 Timothy 4:8 (for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. ) It is so common that people focus on bodily training in order to build a well-shaped body or a muscular and beautiful physique. Those things are appreciable because they are visible. I do agree with that, because the sexy long legs of Koreans are the favorite of mine. Normally they are hard-working in working out; most of the Korean girls got a pair of beautiful legs.

However, bible says that bodily training is not that valuable compared to godliness. The godliness helps us to enjoy in him for eternity and also glorify him as well. That is the chief end of men. Bodily training may grant us a healthy and strong body, but spiritually it doesn’t help us at all. But spirit is something much significant than the body. However, in order to have a godly life, there are some doctrines that we need to understand and grasp them tightly.

In order to be devout, we need to always remind ourselves that we do things for God instead of man. (Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men) This helps us to be fearful and faithful on whatever things that we do. For instance, in a marriage, some people may find their partner unlovable. In this situation, he or she needs to love his wife or her husband for the sake of God. Does it sound too reluctant and not down-to-earth enough? Not at all. We must understand that the purpose of God for creating partner for Adam is to make them be in love. Adam was alone and that was not good in God’s sight. This is because we are after the image of God- love, we are supposed to love and we will be able to love only if we have a target to love. with the love in human beings, we are able to manifest the love of God. Therefore, for that reason, we are born to love, and we ought to love one another!!

Besides that, in order to love, we should not put our own benefits ahead of other people’s need. As Bible says, “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” ( 1 Corinthians 10:24) By holding this teaching, we are able to be selfless and offering our helping hands to the people in need. In order to be a good testimony, being helpful to the people around you like how Jesus helped his neighbors during his life time as a man is very significant and essential habit we ought to equip ourselves. Some people may not have the calling to be a Christian, but we still need to do goods for them because that is what we are called to do as a servant of God.

Other than that, we need to submit our own life to the Lord who has saved us because at the time we accept him to be our personal savior; we are no longer belonging to ourselves. After that, we are supposed to seek for his guidance and hope that every single decision we are to make is able to please the Lord and to do His good pleasure. In order to live in the way God asks us to have, we need to seek for his guidance so that we are sure that we walk on the path of faith in Christ!!

      

        

Not that easy though

I found that the change in personality and attitude of an individual can be influenced by the other people. We may find that our personality has been molded in a shape which is quite similar with the close friends of us. The previous statement was found in psychology, but I don’t think that everyone isn’t exclusive in this saying.

Recently, having talks with some close friends made me to realize that the worldview of people mindset can be absolutely different. One of my friends has some characteristics in common with me, but somehow our worldview on a particular matter could be totally different. That’s why I never like superficial interaction but a heartfelt approach to their thought.

In his sharing, I can feel that he doesn’t really believe there is such thing like a true relationship in love. Being in a relationship is like being in a duty for a task and doing things with commitment while all the sweet things done by the couple can be a habit or routine, because they have been used of doing all these things. They are all observation-based information, because I believe that he never got into a relationship before. However, this is a common phenomenon that I would not be able to deny as we can see there are many friends around us who are in a relationship usually entertain their partners and do things for them with commitment.  I mean they do that just because he or she is their partner. The willingness can be there, but the enjoyment seems to be too light.

In this situation, being in a relationship without love to him is merely a habit or even burden when you cannot really commit and maintain it well. He shared about another common phenomenon, in a relationship, it is either the guy forsakes the girl, or the girl leaves the guy eventually. It indicates that the relationship in this world seems to have random development and potential betrayal. I felt really sad for his thought. It is not wrong to have all these views, because it is good to see the flaws of wrong relationship which can alert us from being hurt by other people or hurting other people. However, it is too sad to be hopeless at all, because all he said to me about relationship was like a bad or even worse thing to get involved in.

I was trying to convince him that relationship is not really as bad as he thought. I was sharing about some good testimonies I found my church, but he refused to accept. I felt in sorrow silently, not because I failed to convince him, but I could feel the despair he feels towards love. I found it unhealthy for person to be hopeless to love, and to be too positive to love. Both of these attitudes lead them either into despair or regret.

Love itself has nothing wrong, but the people were being misguided and lost all along the way in a relationship for their own egoism, with limited knowledge and understanding about love, in their own foolish way. For instance, the existence of bomb in the beginning was only for bombard the mountains for obtaining aggregates for construction’s use. But now people use in wars for their offense which could blow the people in a huge area.  In this example, we can see that the bomb itself does not do anything wrong, but the mankind abuses it for their reasons. 

Love is not the cause for a victim to get hurt in a relationship, but mankind’s sinful nature is the main factor ever! People should know the true meaning of love, before they could really know how to love. People should be selfless and considerate for other’s feeling, don’t take advantages from others in a relationship. Couples must respect one another in order to protect each other from unnecessary hurt due to disrespect. The reason for being in a relationship should be purposeful and beneficial. Without a purpose, people would be getting lost definitely.

The reasons of a person to get hurt in a relationship are the excessive trust in their partner without setting a certain baseline for self-protection and the haste and desperation for love that lead us to regret of trusting, and cause mentally and spiritually injuries due to excessive trust and poor self-protection on the aspects of mental and spirituality. The second one leads to carelessness and insufficient mutual understanding, it causes you to think that the one is not the right one, and eventually you quit the relationship anyhow. When there is a break, there must be followed by pain.

In order to protect ourselves, practical solutions are hardly carried out without certain attitudes. Before getting into a relationship, patience, humility, sincerity, activeness, enjoyment, forgiveness are very crucial natures to make things right. Patience is needed for observing an individual’s personality and worldview, meanwhile helpful for evaluation of the future compatibility with you. Forgiveness and humility are both needed to help you to humble yourself and forgive the others if they do any mistake due to carelessness and inconsideration. We should understand that no one is perfect in the world so are we. Sincerity is to create a pure and true trust with clear and good intention stated beforehand, so that people would not suspect your attempt and cause unneeded misunderstanding eventually. Most people find relationship vague and insecure because they don’t make clear in the first place for any better reasons. Activeness and enjoyment are needed to keep stirring your relationship for avoiding the stagnancy from happening. I believe that many agree that the uniformly stirred milo (active) is far tasty than stagnant milo (inactive).    

The Mask

We have watched plenty of hero movies since we were small. Now the hero movies have been brought out with a better graphical effect. The enjoyment of watching the latest movie is much better than of the past. I still remember a hero movie which is very interesting and happening. The hero in the story was not of the cool type, but in fact he was an extremely crazy troublemaker throughout the story. Everything was messed up by the hero, and that was really a special story line different from many typical hero movies. The movie is called – The Mask.

In the story, the main character is an ordinary guy who longs for love and doing big things but he is not masculine and bold at all. Instead he is very skinny and weak with a kind and pure heart. He accidentally picked up a mysterious wooden mask from a river when he was trying to rescue a man at the river. (He thought someone was drowned, but that was actually a mass of rubbish floating on the river.) Eventually, he got the mask sticking on his face, and he turned to be an insane troublemaker.

Mask is the thing that I want to talk about in this sharing. I believe that many legendary supernatural heroes that people have created mostly are masked. For instance, Spiderman, Batman, Green lantern and Ironman are masked with their own masks which are uniquely designed for them. But I found their enemies are also the same, they got a mask on their face as well. For instance, Green Globin in Spider-Man comic and joker (joker’s face) in Batman Comic do not reveal their original face at all. The reason of covering their face is quite an interesting topic to be discussed about.

In my opinion, I found that mask got a function to cover the weakness. By covering the facial expression, no one would be able to understand you and find out your weakness easily. By being apparently emotionless, it makes you looking unbeatable and invincible. For instance, the joker kept smiling in the movie, while the batman was beating him with hard punches on his face relentlessly. It feels like the joker did not fear to be killed, and the batman was about to kill him without a blink of his eyes. Definitely, they felt painful for being punched, but they never want to express the pain with their face.

Apart from that, covering your face with a mask can turn you to be someone else. I still remember in The Amazing Spiderman, the moment when a boy was being coaxed by Spiderman to escape from a burning car hanging in the air. Spiderman gave his mask to him, and made the boy to be courageous, move and escape from the danger, because the mask means something powerful to the boy for the boy knew that the guy with that red mask is strong enough to defeat many monsters and enemies. He would believe that the mask is the source of power and the spring of courage.

Nowadays, I found many people wearing masks in their daily life. It makes them being protected and accepted by other people. For instance, some may be just wearing an invisible joker mask to be an amusing entertainer in a group of people, but in fact, they do want other people to understand the real inner self of them. It is quite contradictory for wanting other to understand you truly, while being scared of revealing your real inner self by removing the mask from your face. If you want to get some superficial relationship with other people, the mask is just appropriately useful enough. But if you do want other people to understand you well, it is time to consider keeping your mask into your drawer for a period of time and revealing your real and original face to the people you would like them to understand you.                    

All the best to them~

Finally, I’m back to my University after a long semester break. Once after the memorable Taiwan trip, my helpful cousin straight away brought me back to UM. I felt thankful for the help, but sadly once again that my parents didn’t manage to send me. What to do~

Back to the place, I decided to skip all the classes because I wasn’t really good in my health condition. In order to recover as soon as possible, I rest as much as possible. It isn’t the same feeling at all. I am not busy of anything; I have my own time to do many things so far.  The new faces don’t seem to know me but it is normal after all.

I was invited to be one of the judges for the talent show. The shows were really amusing because they are brave and crazy enough to act in their characters. Some singers are really good and quite professional, that surprised me also. Some more it is good to have a beat boxer yeah!! They are really impressive, I am happy to spend time with them that night. It was a great night indeed!

After the gathering, I gathered the PMs during our supper at Murni. They are the group that I am worried of. I have heard something bad about them from other people. Trying not to be very judgmental, I would just gather them and remind them about what they are supposed to bear in mind and what principle they are supposed to grasp when serving in CC instead of talking as if I am a judge. I am not sure whether they understand what I told them, but I think that is the only thing I can do-giving advices and reminders. But I believe that they are not ignorant, just hope that they could be a good servant in CC instead of a commander. Hope they bear in mind that without the same direction, we will never be united, without the willingness, there will not be any enjoyment.    

Go with faith my friend!

Sometimes in life, God does not seem to be merciful enough by giving you a so-called better way for us to pick. He seems to be leading you to a dead end and leave you no way to go. It is despair for being in that plight. I don’t think I can just take it easy; I would be panic and hopeless. It is bad to have limited options to choose when you are in a junction in your life. But it is worse when you are in dead end with no way to go.

We may ask for the reasons why we must face this kind of tough period while we never did anything bad like murderers or thieves. Normally, we place our attention on the problems by hoping them to be better, so that we may not be suffering in torment. But meanwhile we are not able to think about what we can do to cope with that when we focus on things wrongly. When the situations do not go according to our will, we need to readjust ourselves mentally and spiritually in the way that can keep us surviving through this tough time. This tough moment is the thing that has revolutionized thousands of people.  I can boldly assure that no one could be successful unless they have gone through many severely tough moments. Successful people are not the persons who are able to escape from problems, but the warriors who are couragerous enough to face and overcome all the challenges.

There are many historical persons in the bible that had gone through thick and thin periodically. Those got the ultimate triumph after a long period of humiliation, struggle and agony. It is written in the bible that “ Not only that , but we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Another scripture is that “And I will put this third in to the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ’The Lord is my God.’” Original gold obtained from the ground isn’t pure enough but in order to purify it, burning is necessary for it to go through. No pain no gain. People say that there is no way to use an unmolded jade unless you mold it into a certain shape for a particular purpose of usage through carving and polishing. It is tough, but believe that one day you will go through it. Go with faith..my friend~

   

Back to my place

Going back UM is not something bad to me, because right over here, I am able to enjoy. For instance, I do really enjoy my Sunday worship, and attend the lesson after the worship in order to know more about Christianity. This morning, I saw several new faces. A smart-looking guy and a polite lady started to worship at our church recently. They are just several years elder than me. Somehow our conversation reminded me that I am now a Third year student who is going to graduate 2 years later. I wonder how long I am still able to appreciate this kind of life style over here. I feel sick when I think of leaving this place. It is really sad to think of leaving the place you like, leaving the people you like to get along with.

Oh ya! Today is registration date for all the freshies. They need to register themselves today. Early in the morning, I woke up and waited for a phone call at the resting site at ground floor. Many young guys with their parents holding stuffs moved up the stairs and searched for their own rooms. Some parents looked really happy and proud, as if they are proud of bringing their sons to this University. Some looked confused because they don't know what to do in this unfamiliar place. It recalled me once again the first day I came here my college. That was really memorable to me for being the first one who came to registration counter.

The first senior I met was Teddy Tan Kar Hern who will be going to graduate soon. That time, I encountered Chun Chyn who was just beside me. He is now having internship at his hometown, while I am now at KL. I just feel like this year I may not be that crazily happy like last two years. This year, the spotlight may not place on me, I may not be the one that people would seek for consultant. I have been told that responsibility would be higher when you have a higher position in an organization. When the responsibility is getting high, the attention people pay on the person would be high as well. I think I need to accept the fact that I am no longer consequential ever since the moment I let go of my position. It is time for me to learn how to stay low profile, and how to stay humble.

There are many feelings that I sympathize with my friend Kevin who is actually quite in the similar situation with me. I just don't want to mention over right now, because it may take a lot of time and "juice in my brain" to express. LOL! I just realized that there are always many new things you ought to accept and learn in different stages of your life. Back to my place with another kind of awareness, I think it would not be the same for everything, but at least I believe great things are coming soon. We shall see.

  

A damn long chat

My mother was a number one worry freak. She used to worry about the in-coming problems in advance. I still remember that when my brother was about to study Form six. She was so worried and searching for more information as much as possible just for my brother's better future. When my brother was being in National Service, she worried about my brother so much until she couldn't sleep well at that period. It was helpless for me to see her worrying and upset that I couldn't do anything to help her.

However, the path that I took for my studies was quite similar with my brother. When my turn to attend National Service, they brought me there once only, while I could see many families coming far away from their hometown to that isolated PLKN campsite and visit their children every weekends. I was not sad at all, but I did really miss them so much. I did wish that they could come to visit me, but it was really far lar and not worth at all to do that.  Besides that, when my turn to study Form 6, my mother was seemingly so experienced and steady to handle it until I didn't really feel about whether she concerned or not. She just left me at my relative's house the night before I went to register myself at High School BM which was an unfamiliar place to me. I couldn't believe that they were so unworried about me and let me go there to settle everything alone. They didn't go to my school until the day we got the result. It is unbelievable. 

Apart from that, my parents didn't come to UM for my registration as my accompany. My brother was assigned to deliver me to UM for registration, we reached there early in the morning 4am at the registration date. Once again, without my parents I registered myself at UM and until now my parents still don't know the location of my University. I believe that they will know on the day I graduate. I am happy that they seem to have no worry on me, perhaps I am considered independent enough to take care of myself better. Is there any another explanation like they don't fear to lose me, because I have gone through a lot of injuries and accidents but I am still alive? LOL!! I don't think that would be a reasonable and possible reason after all! Anyway, I was very happy when my dad told me last Thursday that they are planning to go back my mother's hometown and drop me at my hostel before they leave the hometown. But yesterday he told me that he had changed his mind, and he asked an uncle for help to bring me back to my University. I didn't want to go back alone by bus, that was the reason I didn't reject the offer. But it was really upset to be given an unreal expectation.

It is always uncomfortable to meet someone unfamiliar and even worse to trouble someone you know none about him, and there are many uncertainties that make you getting worried. The uncle is a friend of my dad, a salesman who is experienced in making nice order of the furniture's materials at China on behalf of furniture production companies. Since he is so good in that, he and my father are actually on the process of making a good deal. They have been friends for about many years, and I could predict that because if my father was not close to him enough, he would never ask him for help. Getting all my stuff into his Nissan Teana, I apologized for letting him waiting for me for a short while. He started to chat with me non-stop until he dropped me at 11th residential college.

I wonder if he is a pastor, because all the time the things he talked about were about the way we should behave and the attitudes we should possess in order to be remarkable.However, he was really good on bringing new topics when it was just getting to be an utter silence. But because of that, I really understand why he could be a good salesman. I am glad to have such an elder like him to implant many important messages in my mind based on his experience. Those are really practical and real. After the long chat, it makes me pretty sure of several important attitudes to be remarkable. He shared with me about the reasons guys need to drink when talking business. I was surprised by the real sharing and I do believe that he was not boasting. He seems to be quite a humble guy, as in the way he shared with me about his thoughts, he didn't take himself as an model. He demonstrated on how to make a going-to-be-pissed-off woman to be cool down by your reply. It was really interesting and sweet about the way he replied. The reply attached with compliment would be really a good cooling agent to a going-to-quarrel situation. I believe that he is also another sweet talker like me if what he said to me is true and often applied by himself personally.         

 

I do respect that uncle, because he didn't talk with me about cars or houses If he talked about that, then I would just listen and get speechless all the way. Reaching my college, he dropped me in front of the office and we got all of my stuffs out of the car. I shake his hand and expressed my gratitude for his kindness and sharing. I couldn't believe that I could talk with a stranger for about 4 and a half hours!! But somehow I can't tell the reason why he said I would be great in the future. Is it a so-called superficial wish or a heartfelt prediction? Anyway, I replied "Hopefully~ Uncle ^^"